A blog about life, love and the pursuit of happiness with a mythical creature thought to only exist in snowy mountain regions. Better known as my husband Fred :)
Monday, December 24, 2012
On Being an Auntie
This past Friday, the 21st, my beautiful Aunt Sandra lost the fight for her life. It's only been 3 days and I already miss her terribly. I have only suffered a handful of gut-wrenching losses in my 30 years on this earth and this is by far one of the worst. It is exacerbated further knowing that my brother and I were less than 12 hours away from going to see her when we heard the news. I keep telling myself (and him) that we couldn't have known. It could have happened last week, a month from now, or even a month prior. We don't have control over these things, I know, but it still hurts. I take comfort knowing she is not in pain anymore and she is not suffering. I also know that she was welcomed to the next life by my baby cousin Adam and my grandfather (or Bumpa, as he was lovingly referred to). I'm somewhat jealous of her because of that actually. I also know that even though the wounds are still fresh and that scar will always remain when it heals, I am now and always will be surrounded by some of the most amazing and strongest people in the world to help me through; My husband, my parents, my brother, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends and most importantly, especially now, my niece and nephews.
I have always loved my aunts. All of them. If I may say, without sounding too boastful, I feel like I was blessed with the cream of the crop.They have shown me how to love unconditionally, given me a shoulder to lean on in dark times and have taught me what family is all about. As a child, they were all extensions of my mother. Each and every one of them looking out for me, making sure I had whatever I wanted and most importantly that I was taken care of. Now as an adult, my aunts have become some of my closest friends. My mothers sisters Wanda and Sandra, my fathers sisters Mary and Wendy, and those who have come to me by marriage Julie, Paula, Maria and Debbie have all shown me what an Aunt truly should be.They have all brought to the table something special that I will hold dear to me for as long as I live.
My Aunt Sandra, in particular, would always ask me every time I saw her "Are you still writing?". She was constantly giving me notebooks as gifts and would encourage me to "keep on writing". It is because of her that I am able to put this together today. It is because of her that I am proud to write this. Yes, Auntie, I am still writing and I promise to keep writing if it will make you smile in the next life.
Over the past two years, I have been given the extraordinary gift of being an "auntie" to 3 incredible little children: Ellie, Michael and Sam. Saturday night, when I was still feeling raw from the loss, I got to spend time with all 3 of them. I can't tell you how much it lifted my spirits. Seeing their faces light up as they opened their gifts from Auntie Jo and Uncle Yeti filled me with such joy. I feel so blessed and lucky to a part of these children's lives. Even though we are not blood relatives, I will still treat them as if they were. I hope that as their "auntie", I am able to impact their little lives with the love and wisdom and strength the way my aunts have for me. I will honor my Aunt Sandra's memory by being the best auntie I can be for them.
It is hard to get excited for the Christmas season, I know. We have seen so much tragedy just in this month alone. But I think it's important to hold to our traditions and celebrations, despite all of this. The living cannot stop,well, living just because a life or even lives have ended. By all means, mourn in the way you know how or the way that you prefer, but do not stop living. Our loved ones would not want us to do that. It is important to embrace the good, along with the bad. I think this song here sums it up particularly well. "In all the places we find love, it feels like Christmas". What an important sentiment to hold on to! Fill your homes and your hearts with love this season and then send that love to the heavens. I don't know about you all but I plan to laugh often, be merry, give hugs, maybe even shed a tear or two, and most importantly use the words "I love you" as much as possible.
Merry Christmas, Auntie Sandy. Merry Christmas to those precious little souls from Newtown, CT. Merry Christmas to all, and a wish of nothing but peace and happiness for 2013.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Some Notes On "The Job", Newtown and Family....
I’ve been thinking about writing this post for the past few days and it’s amazing how the nature of it has changed the longer I’ve been thinking about it. The tragic events that occurred over the weekend planted the seed in my head, and my own nearly life-shattering incidents with a few of my family members caused it to grow. I feel it is only fitting since I’ve decided to examine life and death in “The Job” to let loose how these happenings have affected me. Writing has always been a coping mechanism for me, so I hope that by getting some of this off my chest, sleep will come easier than it has the past few nights.
(Disclaimer: I feel the need to emphasize that this post is strictly going to be about my own philosophy in regard to life and death. There will be no mention of gun violence/gun control or how mental illness may have contributed to the unspeakable events that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School. There is a time and place for those discussions to happen. This blog is strictly for my own self examination and this is how I choose to deal with this specific situation.)
When I first started writing “The Job”, my initial goal with it was to maybe help people re-examine how they view death. In it our main character, obsessed with his own demise, is not only faced with it but also accompanies Death while it merely does what it is there to do: it’s job. In Part 3 (which I’ve yet to put up), we get to witness what happens when someone IS ready for death and how the spirit himself copes with it, trying to get our main character to understand what passing from this life to the next truly entails. Hell, we even find out where ghosts come from. However, when the subject matter hits so close to home and in such a violent manner, it’s made even me step back and re-examine my thoughts on Death. I guess that happens when you think you finally have everything figured out.
Beginning with hearing the news of the tragedy in Newtown, CT, it seemed like Death was knocking everywhere I turned. Just as I had begun to process what happened there, I got a call (a text to be more specific) informing me that my aunt had taken a turn for the worse. Although I had been expecting a call like that for some time now, it still didn’t make it any easier to hear. Just over 12 hours later, I got another call concerning my beloved grandfather who was also admitted to the hospital after a bad fall. Armed with only the knowledge that he had fallen and was being admitted to the ICU, I broke down. When was the bad news going to stop? It got to the point where I was literally shaking in fear the next time the phone rang. It seemed as though everything was coming apart at the seams.
As I type this, however, both my grandfather and aunt are still with us. As much as I am thankful to the Fates for choosing to give my relatives more time on this Earth, I can’t help but wonder why. Seemingly their lives were spared whereas 26 people, including 20 children, all had their lives stolen from them in the blink of an eye. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason but this has me baffled.
Were these innocent little lives taken to spare them from having to relive the horror of what they experienced that day? Were they just in the wrong place at the wrong time? And why did it have to happen during what is supposed to be one of the most joyous times of the year? Sometimes I wonder why my brain even goes to these bizarre places in regards to a tragedy such as this when there seems to be bigger issues at hand.
I can only seem to come up with one somewhat rational idea as to why these things have transpired the way they did. I think we forget from time to time just how precious life is. We get so caught up in our fast-paced, day-to-day lives that we need reminding just how quickly things can change. Maybe this is fates way of telling us all to slow down. Enjoy this precious time that we have been given with out loved ones. Make each minute with them count. As much as it seems unfair that my grandfather and aunt will be with us longer and these poor children lost their lives, my family and I have been given more time with them. I will cherish what short time we all have left together because I don't know when they will be gone.
I think all this yelling and going back and forth about gun control/accessibility and arguing about how to deal with the mentally ill is all for naught. Instead of yelling at the lefty liberal who wants to take away everyone's guns or that right-wing conservative that wants to arm everyone with assault rifle's, why not channel that energy into something positive? What's important right now are our children, our mothers and fathers, our grandparents, aunts and uncles, and our nieces and nephews. Choose love instead of hate. Cherish life now.
I hope that one day a tragedy such as this doesn't have to occur to snap us back to reality about our own mortality. I also hope that one day we have the real reason why these things happen and stop fighting each other over them.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
The Job: Part 2
P.S. It has nothing do with Animaniacs or checkers, i've just always loved this portrayal of Death and needed to include it somewhere! You can watch an excerot from the episode here!
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Something....
It's just been a "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" kind of day, I guess. I'm trying really hard to see the silver lining today and not having much luck, which is not like me at all! I mean really, what do I have to complain about? I woke up today, didn't I? That should be enough. I have another day to keep on living! Yet I still want to go back to bed and just cuddle with Yeti. I hope examining what could POSSIBLY be wrong helps a bit.
"The Job" is really pissing me off. No, not my actual job, it's the short story that I'm writing. I hate when I have a really awesome idea and all I want is for it to be amazing on several different levels....and then I sit down to write it. Then all those awesome ideas go flying out of my brain. I know i'm not the only person to experience this. It's just frustrating as all hell. I have the words to type out this blog but not to write an amazing story? WTF is that shit all about?
Maybe it's because I'm having so much trouble getting back to the gym. Every time I think I can get back on a routine and start going regularly again. Sometimes all I need is to break a good sweat to start feeling like my old self again. Maybe after a good run i'll be back in the game. The next question I guess is: When can I go for a run?
It could also be possible that I'm coming off a post-holiday high. Yeti and I cooked the Thanksgiving meal yesterday and what a team we were! Move over Jacques Pepin and Julia Child! We had such an amazing time together yesterday (as we always do), but that could be contributing to why I'm feeling down today. Our amazing culinary adventure is over. The company was also a contributing factor to my wonderful day yesterday. There was wonderful dinner conversation, drinks and a fire to boot. And now it's all over. Womp, womp.
Ugh.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thankful
Yesterday was a really rough day at work. My boss even made the remark "Is this really the day before Thanksgiving??" Why yes, boss. That gigantic shit show of a day was the day before a major holiday. But as crazy it was and no matter how many times I wanted to rip my hair out throughout the day, every "Happy Thanksgiving" wish I heard helped me step back and see the big picture. I have plenty of things to be grateful for, this year and always.
I escorted a blind woman to her appointment yesterday. How thankful and happy she was that someone was there to help her. In return, it made me thankful to have a job where I can help people and feel like i'm making some small difference in their lives. It also made me thankful to have my sight. Everyday I get up to wake up and absorb all this world has to offer just by being able to SEE it. As crazy as it gets out there some days, I appreciate every moment.
I also brought an old man to his appointment in a wheelchair. He could barely stand, let alone walk. I thought about how lucky I am to still have reliable legs to stand on. I can still go for walks when i'm frustrated, go for a run at the gym and I don't mind standing for as long as I need to. I know I may lose that ability over time so I'm going to take advantage of it as long as I can.
This year, my life has been chock full of so many wonderful new experiences and amazing new people. Thinking back over the past 12 months, I have so much to give thanks for:
I'm thankful for my new family I got when I married Yeti. Everyone is just wonderful and has done one hell of a job making me feel like I belong. I'm even cooking the meal today at my father-in-laws. Thats a good sign right? ;)
I'm thankful for my OWN family who has seen me through thick and thin. Things may not be perfect for all of us right now but we will always have EACH OTHER to see us through. I love you all and we will overcome whatever life throws at us!
I'm thankful for all of my AMAZING friends!! From the crazy trips and adventures we all take to just casual game nights, I appreciate it all! I'm even thankful for my newest friends: a group of strangers I met on the internet called the Arkham Horror Book Club. You guys rock my socks off!
And last but not least: I am eternally for grateful for my Yeti. Everyday I am reminded of another reason why I am so thankful for him. He deals with my extreme ups and downs, is a constant pillar of support when it comes to my writing, encourages me to try new and interesting things, opens my mind to new ideas. He is my rock
Superfically, i'm thankful for Blogger Mobile (without which I wouldn't be able to post this) and Gordon Ramsey for providing an outstanding turkey prep recipe for his fans.
I guess all that's left now is to cook this little turkey I've prepared thanks to Mr. Ramsey.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Job: Part 1
They say that only two things in life are certain: Death and taxes. Neither of which we can do anything about. Well, I guess you could technically consider tax evasion as a way around the latter but eventually it will catch up with you. Death, however, is unavoidable no matter how hard you try.
For a long time I feared this notion, as so many people do. For most the reason is as simple as fear of the unknown. Fear of what will happen after they are cut loose from the mortal coil. Will they be reincarnated to be taught a lesson still unlearned or reach the utmost level of Nirvana? Will they float through an endless limbo while they await judgement? Or will they simply rot in the ground where they will inevitably become nothing more than a veritable smorgasbord for the worms? My fear was an amalgam of all these things, but stems from not knowing just when said unfortunate event would occur. It wasn’t until I stared death in the face that I conquered this.
As far back as I can remember, I feared that moment. The moment when my last breathe would escape my lungs and I would be no more. No more time to laugh or cry, no more opportunities to dance and sing. The party would be over. A solid chunk of my life was spent thinking I was going to die at any moment. Why? I’m not entirely sure anymore. Having seen lives cut too short due to disease or outside forces made me a little gun shy I guess.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Our NOLA Adventure!
Then of course, as these things go, my computer monitor crapped out on me. Now I know what you're all thinking: "But Jo, don't you have a smart phone?" As a matter of fact I do! But have you tried writing a lengthy blog post on a tiny screen and an equally tiny keyboard? Yeah, it sucks. So, apologies for the radio silence, but everything is back in working order and life is less full now so I should back to blogging in no time. My once-fried brain is finally starting to churn out fun ideas again. Now without further ado: A quick(ish) recap of our trip!
Our story began with an immediate offer to fly directly down to NOLA instead of our original connecting flight. We knew this trip was already off to a good start! We stayed at a beautiful little hotel on the border of the Garden District called the Prytania Park Hotel. Our room was small, but unique and full of character! Much better than any downtown hotel chain could offer. We spent our first full day in the city getting acclimated to our neighborhood, and what a neighborhood it was! Gorgeous Greek revival style homes surrounded us at every turn! We even found the former home of one of my favorite authors, Anne Rice! There was a delicious barbecue restaurant literally steps away from the front door of our hotel and we couldn't have been happier with that!
Once we left the Garden District, it was a bit of a walk to the French Quarter, so we spent most of our days there. The streetcar we normally would've taken through town was undergoing repairs in preparation for the upcoming insanity that is Super Bowl/ Mardi Gras week in February 2013! We walked EVERYWHERE because of this! Even though our lower extremities were sore and tired by the end of the day we loved every minute of it! All the exercise we got burned off all the calories from the copious amounts of delicious food and drink we were lucky enough to experience. There were pralines, beignets, craw fish, catfish, gumbo, jambalaya, dirty rice, cafe au lait, sweet tea, apple cobbler, king cake, pickle chips (those are a real thing that exist!), and a slew of others! We never left the city hungry at all!!


We even made some ghost "friends" on one of our treks! Haunted History Tours never fails to impress when it comes to providing a fun and informative tour experience. If you get a chance to visit the city, by all means check them out! We took a jaunt through the cemetery with our charismatic and fun guide, Charles, through St. Louis Cemetery #1 and later on that same night we were led by the comedic and knowledgeable, Jennifer who guided us through some of the cities, uhm, more colorful history. And by colorful I mean bloody. I was also impressed that one of the tour guides leading the group in front of us, a gentleman by the name of Rene, was still with the company. I took a vampire tour with him about 7 years ago and I still remember it to this day. Well done, Rene! Being the paranormal enthusiast that I am, I was excited to catch some "orbs" in a few of my photos from the ghost tour. I don't know how else to explain them. Have a look for yourself!:


If the Goddess wills it, we're planning a return trip to the Big Easy in February 2014. The only reason we aren't going back in 2013 is, well, see above: Mardi Gras + Super Bowl = wayyyy too crazy for Jo. I can't wait to walk down those seemingly familiar streets again. I can't wait to bring people TO this amazing city to experience it with us.
So until then: Laissez les bon temps rouler, New Orleans! Let the good times roll!



