Scary Life Changes

 "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great." - Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks, A League Of Their Own)

One of my favorite moments in cinema revolves around that quote. It's something i've been trying to tell myself over the past few weeks. I'm sure most of you have seen A League Of Their Own by now but if you're unfamiliar with it (shame on you, btw), let me get you up to speed: After a spat with her sister Kit (which sends her to a rival team) and a rather upsetting moment for a fellow player, catcher Dottie Hinson makes the decision to leave her team the day before the World Series and return to a quiet life in Oregon with her husband Bob who has just returned injured from war. When Coach Jimmy Dugan sees her packing her bags to leave, he's understandably upset about it. I'll let the clip here do the rest:

Sure it's not an epic scene and doesn't have any huge battles or dramatic dialogue but it has a lot of heart. And a lot of meaning. You shouldn't stop doing something just because it's hard. That's the worst possible reason NOT to do something. It's almost as bad as doing something JUST for the money. What the hell kind of life is that? Unfortunately, that's my exact dilemma right now

I'm really trying to get my head out of the gutter and push on with the bakery but it is so damn hard. It's not that it's because it's SO BIG and terrifying. I've reconciled that. I've done big before. I've done terrifying. Hell, i've fallen so far from the top that I didn't think it was possible to come back out again. But I did it. And I came out stronger as a result. I came back with a full brigade of love and support and awesomeness (that's the only way to describe it, lol). So why can't I get my head right and do this thing? 

Roadblocks. Roadblocks everywhere. Did you know you just can't give people cupcakes for free just out of good faith? It's absolutely absurd! I understand the reasoning behind all the licensing and all that jazz...but goddamn is it frustrating as fuck! Even being certified in food safety there are STILL hoops to jump through just so I can walk down the street dressed up like the Cupcake Fairy and say "Here, I hope this makes you smile today!". Nope. Can't do it. My viral marketing campaign seems to be going belly up. Business loans are hard to get if you're not already established and I feel rather uncomfortable putting my crowdfunding campaign out there without a clear product to show for it within the community. Within MY community. My Salem! How do I put myself out there and make myself known among my people? This is extremely frustrating

Going back to the drawing board AGAIN. It's like a domino effect really. What do I need? Commercial baking space. How do I get that? With money, licenses and  insurance. How do I get those things? Numerous locations (i.e the bank, the city, state, etc). But you can't get the license or permit until you have the insurance, you can't get the insurance until you have the money and then to get the money you have to have an established business. How anybody does ANYTHING is beyond me. It really is a vicious cycle. I'm sure there is something i'm missing. 

This going to be tough. It's going to be grueling. I'm gonna cry a lot. I'm probably going to annoy a lot of people with my whining. But i'm not going to give up. I can't. I have to do this.  This is MY dream. It was my dad's before me and my grandmother's before him. I have to be the one to do this. I won't quit. I want to be able to inspire someone to do what THEY love. Too many people go through the motions of life without taking any kind of risk at all. I've never really BEEN a leader....but I want to with this. Taking the chance is hard. Putting financial stability on the line is hard. Taking on too much responsibility is hard. But the hard IS what makes this great. It is worth it to do what I love on a daily basis.

And just like Dottie Hinson, i'm going to come back and play in the big game.

But i'm NOT going to throw the game and let my sister win and bow out gracefully. I just don't have it in me to lose anymore ;).

SMRT: Revisited

I suppose before I get too in-depth with anything else I should start by saying Happy New Year everyone! 2014 was a roller coaster year for Yeti and me. We gained so much yet we still suffered two huge emotional losses. But i'm sure that 2015 will have plenty of exciting surprises in store for us as well. For example one of those surprises is the subject of this very blog post! Although I think the person who was MOST taken aback by this is yours truly considering  this post I wrote back in March. Allow me to explain...

If you had asked me back then if I ever thought I would be actively independently interested in something as dynamic and complex as astrophysics, I would have probably laughed in your face. Now to be clear, i'm not ignorant to space and science. Before I got into this, I knew about as much as your average joe on the street.  Sure I knew enough to understand simple science and had common sense about how the world around us works but I never thought I would have any inkling towards what makes everything work at the atomic level. Let alone the atomic level that make up the vastness of the cosmos! What? Who the hell is this monster and what has it done with Jo? Seriously, if I wasn't nerdy and awkward enough already, I think I just made it worse. Or better. Depending on who you ask I guess ;).

In the previous post that I mentioned earlier, I talked about going to see Dr. Michio Kaku and the recent revitalization of "Cosmos" on Fox and how I found them both fascinating. But what I didn't realize then was just how much my psyche would change and how much my confidence would grow as a result of it. I found myself wanting to know more once "Cosmos" was over. I started voluntarily listening to lectures by Neil deGrasse Tyson, Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, Bill Nye (who is a mechanical engineer, I know) and a whole host of others. For example, the above video clip is from the original incarnation of Cosmos from 1980 and it nearly blew my mind when I first saw it. "If you wish to bake an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe." Yes of course, Carl Sagan. That makes SO MUCH SENSE. Is it just me who thinks so? The next thing I knew I was learning about things like how stars form, the 5 points of Lagrange, the confusing mind-fuck that is Antimatter,the electromagnetic spectrum and the four constants of the universe  just to name a few. Everything has just been incredible to learn! It's not just going in one ear and out the other this time. It's actually sticking. And that's pretty much how it's gone since I fell down this rabbit hole. Or black hole. Or worm hole. Again, depending on who you ask I guess :-D.

Thinking back to when I was a kid I never really liked looking up at the sky and watching the clouds go by and guessing the shapes. It was always slightly scary knowing that there was this big guy sitting on top of the clouds watching EVERYTHING I do. I guess that does make you a little worried to look up after a while, right ;)? I remember the very first time I looked up at the night sky and marveled at what I saw. I wondered what took me so long to notice and it made me slightly sad. There's something very powerful and moving that goes along with observing the vastness of space without any added light pollution around.  Just the stars and the moon, a meteor here or there (this mind altering experience was during the Perseid Meteor Shower about two years ago). There was even the slightest view of the gas clouds of the Milky Way.  It was so vivid. And so big! And in that moment, I was so small. It was my "OMG what am I doing with my tiny life?" epiphany. 

See, that's how small we are....

Kudos to Yeti for putting up with all my ridiculous questions and observations that have come from this new found hobby. Honestly if it wasn't for him being so supportive and knowledgeable and willing to help me on this path to discovery, who knows what would happen? I enjoy who i'm becoming during this crazy stellar journey. i'm learning more about myself and my abilities and growing in more ways than I ever thought possible. Of course there are times when I feel like I have to re-read paragraphs a few times to get something which really frustrates me but then I think about how far i've come (which is not that far in the grand scheme of things) and about how even some of the greatest minds of our times STILL had questions. It's because of those questions that discoveries were made. So being curious and inquisitive about something so frackin' huge is completely normal. My favorite quote that I've come across so far sums this up pretty perfectly:

"As I 'galaxy-gaze' through time upon their diversity of colors, shapes, sizes, brightness, and structural detail, the boundary between ignorance and knowledge calls to me. When I reach for the edge of the universe, I do so knowing that along some paths of cosmic discovery, there are times when, at least for now, one must be content to love the questions themselves. " 

-Neil DeGrasse Tyson, 'Onward To The Edge', 1996

If you're so inclined to read the whole piece where that quote comes from, you can find it here.  

Do I think i'll ever be an expert on these things? Probably not. But i'm still going to keep learning no matter what. At least i'm making the effort to try and understand what makes everything tick. Maybe one day i'll wake up one day and forget all these amazing things. Which is highly unlikely, but it could happen ;).  But one thing I know for sure is that I will never look at the stars the same way again. We are all made of star stuff, after all. 

Not-So-Spooky Salem #5: Salem Willows

Any regular reader of this blog knows that this post was a long time coming. In fact, I'm sure a lot of you were wondering when this was going to pop up.I'm actually kind of surprised by that as well. I think maybe I wanted to showcase some of Salem's other offerings before I immediately began gushing about my favorite place in the entire world. For anyone who HASN'T been following this blog regularly that place is the one and only Salem Willows Park.

It's hard to put into words just how much this place means to me. One part of me wants to share it with the world so everyone can enjoy it and have fun. But the other part of me wants to be selfish and hide it away in my pocket or something so no one else can have my happy place. Which is impossible I know. But I can dream, right? ;) 

Generations of families have been enjoying the shady willow trees and concessions here since the late 1800's. It's practically a staple for North Shore families to visit over the summer. There is something for everyone at the park! Whether you come to play some of the old-school arcade games, go for a stroll down by the water, play on the curiously hard mini-golf course (yes they  have a full 18 hole mini-golf course), or if you just want to have a BBQ or picnic, you can do it all and more! The only real downer about this place is that they're only open seasonally between late April and mid-October. But that is to be expected since the park is situated right on Salem Harbor. Playing Skee-ball in 30 degree weather is probably no fun at all ;). See, you October-only tourists might be missing out on one of the best parts of Salem right here. 

   

I have many fond memories of the Willows, especially ones involving my Nana. When I was younger, my family would always make  it a point to come to the Willows at least twice every year. Everyone would arrive around opening time and we'd have a little picnic lunch before we went to play all the games and go on the rides. As a kid, it was all about the games and the tickets and the prizes of course! But now that i'm older, I've grown to appreciate the full experience. The sea breeze, the food, the atmosphere, everything. Sadly, the family trips don't happen as much anymore. Everyone is a sicker, older and now without Nana it doesn't really feel the same. But Yeti and I have been trying to do our part to keep the tradition alive. We held our wedding celebration here as well as our first anniversary/my 30th birthday party. (Thankfully, Nana was still there for those :) ). 

And that's partly how my fondness for Salem began. I always knew as a kid coming to Salem meant fun, happy times were on their way! As a teen, I found more reasons to love the city from all the cool spots to hang out and places to eat. Finally as an adult I realized what it meant to have a happy place and for me that special spot was Salem. To be able to share that spot with Yeti and with all of you MAKES me happy! Helping others see the fun and beauty in this place is the whole point of this blog series :). 

I hope I can reach at least one of you October visitors with this. Come on up and see the rest of what Salem has to offer. Outside of the Downtown area ;).  

Not-So-Spooky Salem #4: Witch City Consignment

Can you tell I have a strange obsession with vintage consignment and antiques of all kinds? I can't help it. Yeti and I both love things that are older and have character and a history behind them. I guess it's a good thing we live in Salem, huh? ;) That's why when we came across Witch City Consignment we were kind of excited! What better place to help furnish our new apartment!

The store is massive! They even have a basement level that they open up when the main floor starts to fill up with product. The whole shop is a giant menagerie of nostalgia. It's part antique store/part thrift shop with an inventory ranging from beautiful gently-used furniture to piano rolls. Yes pianos rolls. Like for an old school player piano!I'm always very impressed by the furniture selection whenever I go in there. The prices are fair considering some of the items. Yeti and I actually bought an oak table from them with a set of 4 chairs for $140. That's a pretty sweet deal! If we would've gone to Jordan's or Bernie and Phyl's, who knows how much that would have cost us! Even if we don't have anything in particular to buy, it's fun to just go in, look around and see just how many strange things we can find. Like this shelf full of typewriters:

Seriously,those signs make everyone want to play with them....

And my adorable new Halloween tree:

That's also the oak table we bought in the picture :). 

If you're a sucker for old-world style and furnishings like me, hold onto your wallet when you walk into this store. It's hard to walk out empty handed. I really was not planning on buying that Halloween tree but I couldn't resist! You've gotta act fast if you see something you like at Witch City Consignment. It could be there one day and sold the next! It's shopping at places like this that have ruined shopping malls for me. Sure I could go by a bookshelf at Target that is way overpriced and cheaply made, but it would be the same bookshelf everyone else has. Maybe just in a different color. It would have no character or life of it's own or story to tell. The items in stores like this most likely ended up there at the end of someone's life or because they wouldn't fit in someone's new home. They obviously held significance at one point. Why shouldn't they go to another good home to be enjoyed and support a small business at the same time? Or even better maybe at a store like the Goodwill or Salvation Army whose profits go to a good cause. Thrift stores are awesome and Witch City Consignment is one of the best around.

If you happen to stumble upon it during your October trek and you like what you see, make sure you come back and see them during the off-season. We'd like to keep them around until next Halloween season  and for a good long time after that ;).

Not-So-Spooky Salem #3: The Engine House

Aaaaand i'm back! Sorry, I was a way for a few days. I was ::ahem:: a little busy this weekend:

But more on that later ;). For now, let's get back to business, shall we? 

When I was in my late teens,  I started coming to Salem more regularly on my own. Some of my fondest trips were spent going to Harrison's (which i'll talk about in a later post) with one of my good friends at the time, picking up some comics and then heading on over to the best pizza place in town for lunch. The two of us would walk in, order a large extra cheese pizza and some pepsi's and read the comics we just picked up. At the end of each trip, we would generally leave only one lonely slice of greasy deliciousness left on the tray. Two 19-year-old, 110lb, 5'2" white girls would just gorge themselves on pizza and walk away leaving the staff stunned. How in the hell did we eat all that pizza and stay so damn small?  Ahhh, those were the days of awesome teenage metabolisms. It'll probably catch up to me in my old age but i'll be fat and happy and full of awesome pizza, dammit! To this day, I don't think I've ever had a more delicious pizza than at The Engine House on Derby Street.

(photo credit to the Engine House website!)

Now don't get me wrong, I truly believe there is no such thing as a bad piece of pizza. Even if it's mediocre store-bought frozen pizza. There's something about the combination of pizza dough,sauce, cheese and whatever topping you could possibly want that's just a delectable fiesta when it hits your palate! Am I wrong? And nobody seems to do that better than the Engine House. Maybe it's the mix of spices they use, or the cheese blend or the sweet sauce but the end result is absolutely to die for. It even brings back fond childhood memories for Yeti! He's a South Shore native having grown up down in Dorchester so when I first brought him to Engine House, he was quite surprised when what he tasted was very similar to a place he used to order from with his family called Roy's. He was so excited to finally find a place of comparable taste! I think that's when I knew it was true love ;).  

The only problem I've ever had with the place was that they don't deliver too far outside of Salem which is understandable. They're not a chain after all but I think that adds to their charm.The pizza where we used to live in Medford was just o.k.. Did we drive up to Salem just for pizza sometimes?  Yes. Yes we did.  And it's that drawing power that always kept me coming back! Of course now that we're residents, we just have to walk out our front door and down the street. But you might find if you give Engine House a try, it may not be your cup of tea. There are plenty of other options throughout the city! There's Damatas, Georgia's, Mandees, The Flying Saucer, Salem House Of Pizza, the list goes on! Find your flavor here in Salem. There's something for everyone :)

I'll leave you today with a fun fact about Engine House to pique your curiousity though. Horror fans will no doubt recognize the joint as one of the locations used for filming in Rob Zombie's latest film "Lords Of Salem". But no need to worry, there's no threat of the Lords coming back to town anytime soon ;). Unless they want really great pizza of course! 

Not-So-Spooky Salem #2: Modern Millie Vintage and Consignments

Over the past few days since I came up with this blog idea, I started compiling a list of "all-things-awesome" about the city of Salem. There is actually enough to keep me going for everyday of the month! Now let's see if I can actually keep up with writing a new post for everyday of the month. I've  With a list that big, it was hard to figure out exactly where to begin. As I sat here at my desk at my grown-up job, I started people watching as I normally do. I couldn't help but notice some of the atrocious wardrobe choices of the day. Anyone who knows me well knows that I kinda despise modern fashion as a whole. I hate going clothes shopping for this very reason. I can never find anything I want to buy. Leggings and acid wash jeans and off the shoulder big sweaters. Egads, it's like we've never done this before, people! 

But that's when it hit me! I knew exactly where to start! My go-to place for clothes! If you're looking for a spot to find fun, vintage threads at a reasonable price and if you like stores like The Garment District, why not give Modern Millie Vintage and Consignments a try! They're located at 3 Central Street in Salem which is right off of the pedestrian mall on Essex Street. They also have a second location in Newburyport. The stores should be pretty easy to spot considering they always have such jaw-droppingly gorgeous window displays like this one:

(photo credit to the store's FB page)

I really and truly have a hard time leaving this store without a bag in my hands. They have everything! Here you'll find beautiful vintage dresses (I actually bought my wedding dress here), fun skirts, hats for all occasions, gorgeous shoes, gloves, scarves, vintage aprons and even old school lingerie! I'm talking legit heavy satin nightgowns, folks, not your grandma's flannel nightdress ;). The staff is always super nice and helpful too. Living a 5-minute walk away from the front door of this place has been dangerous for my wallet! If it wasn't for those pesky bills and rent getting in the way, I'd be in there every day! 

So next time, instead of hitting the mall up the road for some new threads, why not give Modern Millie's a try? You won't be disappointed :). 

Not-So-Spooky Salem #1: An Introduction

Well, well, well, what have we here? A new blog? What is this madness?

To be completely honest, I haven't had much to blog about recently. Nor have I really had the time! Between my grown-up job, my grandmother getting sick and dying and Yeti's grandmother dying, there hasn't been too much that has been inspiring me to write. But about two months ago, Yeti and I finally got the opportunity to move to Salem! Finally! After wanting to live there practically my whole life, we officially became Salem residents in August. Now that we have our own space and are getting back to normal after the move, I feel like my creative juices are starting to flow again. I even took a brief hiatus from cakes! Brief though, not long term ;).

For the past few weeks, i've been toying around with writing something. I had a few brief flashes of inspiration for one of my never-ending passion projects There were a few fun story ideas that ann through my head brought on just by daily life in general but nothing seemed to be sticking. Nothing felt right.  It wasn't until I started noticing the increased amounts of traffic and tourists around my neighborhood that I realized what I needed to be writing. It's something that I would think about every time I came to town before I even became a resident and something that will probably stick with me until I leave (which is hopefully never). Why is it that Salem only gets an influx of love in the month of October?

Is it because peopIe equate witches and psychics = scary/Halloween fun? Is that really all there is about the city that is bankable? It may be hard to believe but there was a time when the city didn't really make a huge deal out of its notorious history. That's thanks in part to an episode of Bewtiched back in the 70's where the Stephens family comes to Salem for the "Centennial Witch Convocation" and are soon plagued by shenanigans. Then it all went downhill from there. Or uphill depending on who you ask. So thanks a lot, Samantha Stephens. 

Although I guess in a way the town I know and love so much often shoots itself in the foot in this respect. But I mean that in a good way! If it brings revenue and visitors to the city then why not promote the hell out of Halloween as much as you can, right? However it's this very reason that causes people to forget Salem exists for the other 11 months of the year. It's like it disappears off the map! The crowds don't seem to have any other reason to come here which is sad. My city is far more than some haven for all things terrifying and spooky. Granted that part is fun, but my city is also friendly, vibrant, charming, beautiful and full of life for the other 334 days of the year! There is so much that people are missing by limiting their visits to just one month. 

So my goal with this blog series throughout the month of October is going to be to highlight some of my favorite things about the city as a new resident. Now I know I've only lived here for two months but I've been coming to Salem my whole life as more than just a tourist. I have very fond memories of this little seaport town. The happiest times of my life were spent here with some of my favorite people in my favorite spots. This city has given me so much that I feel like it is only fitting that I should try and help the town out a little and do what I can to support tourism throughout the year in my own way :)! i hope you'll continue on this fun journey with me throughout the month! 

With any luck I may just keep up with posting on a regular basis once this is all done but only time will tell ;).