For Nana

                                   

First, let me start by saying that on behalf of my entire family thank you for all for coming out today. Your support during this difficult time means more to us than words can say.

My grandmother touched a lot of lives here in more ways than one. She would be completely taken aback by seeing all of you here now. One thing that she would often say to me whenever she heard of someone passing was  "Don't cry for the dead. You should celebrate them instead. Their troubles are over in this world." That thought alone is what is getting me through this difficult period. So my goal with this speech is to not mourn her loss but instead to rejoice that her hardships are done and remember the special lady that brings us all together today. It’s her ever present strength that is going to get me through at least the next few minutes while i’m up here talking to you all.

Nana and I shared a passion for many things. Some of my favorite pastimes today are the activities I used to do with her. She had a fondness for crossword puzzles, or even just word puzzles in general. She always wanted to keep her mind sharp. I would often do a crossword puzzle or two in whichever book she was using at the time and she would yell at me for doing it in pen. I’d say “But Nana I like writing in pen.” to which she’d reply “Ok.” and then I’d have scratch marks and scribbles all over my puzzle and she’d say “See? That’s why you use a pencil.” Eventually I gave into my own stubbornness and now I use a pencil whenever possible. So, thanks for that Nana. She was also great at Wheel Of Fortune and loved Jeopardy.  One of her favorite stories to tell from when she was the bookkeeper at the church was when Major Goding would sometimes call her into his office and say “Lorraine, we have to have a meeting.” So she would go and then they would proceed to play Wheel of Fortune on his computer. Because of all of this, I developed my love of words and trivia games and brain teaser puzzles.

She loved all the old games down at Salem Willows. And she was great at them too! I’d always find her at some point during one of our many trips there and she’d have a fist full of prize tickets. “Nana, how did you do that?” I’d say to her. She would just laugh and shrug. and say something along the lines of “I just put the quarter in!”. I think she hit the jackpot every other time we went down there, to be honest. Her claw machine skills were unmatched. You could tell her exactly what you wanted in the machine and she would get it. Even if that meant she had to get a bunch of other things first. She still got you that stuffed animal you wanted. But that’s the kind of person she was. Even if you wanted all those jackpot tickets she won, she gave them to you.

Nana was a giver, after all. She would practically give you the shirt  off her back and more if you really needed it. She always made sure that everyone around her was taken care of before she sat down for herself. Caring for her family was one of her greatest joys. Whether it was something as simple as a few rounds of cards Saturday night, cooking Sunday dinner for whoever came over after church or one of the many Christmas Eve parties we would have at their house, she always had the biggest smile and laughed the most when we were all together. She loved everyone and everyone loved her in return. And she loved no one more than my dear grandfather. I’m sure i’m not the only one to think this but the importance of family, blood-related or not, was drilled so deep into my heart because of her and her commitment to all of us.

My husband shared a great quote with me the other day which was written by Sir Terry Pratchett from his book “Reaper Man”. He wrote

“...They believe that no-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away – until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.”

I knew I wanted to include this quote in here somewhere and I didn’t know exactly where it would fit until I took another look at the picture. 

Now some of you way in the back, or even in the middle here might not be able to see this clearly but this is a photo of my grandmother working on one of the many wedding cakes she did throughout her life. She was so proud of every cake she made or anything she baked for that matter and that passion for her hobby was so strong that my father picked it up. Then as time went on, I followed in their foot steps. Without her doing it first, I wouldn’t be on the path to trying to open my own bakery. And that is what that quote means to me. So as long I keep making cakes and cupcakes and cookies, she will never truly die. When I hang this picture on the wall in my bakery kitchen, she’ll be there. Watching over me. Watching over all of us.

I love you, Nana. 

SMRT

Yup, you read that title correctly. SMRT.

Whenever I do something on the quasi-intelligent side, I look over at my husband and say something along the lines of "Hey check that out! I'm pretty S-M-R-T aren't, I?" This is generally followed by a guffaw or a good chuckle. It's just a thing I do. I regularly mock my own intelligence levels, which is probably one of my biggest character flaws. I really don't think I'm that smart at all. Despite being told numerous times by Yeti and countless others that that is absolutely not true and  that I am quite bright, I still can’t believe it.

Some might think that it's because I chose not to continue my education after high school but I beg to differ.  Personally I don't think a college degree measures ones intelligence. Y’know who didn’t go to college? Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin and even Winston Churchill (just to name a few), who were some of the most brilliant minds of our time.  Does it make you more proficient in a particular field of study of your choosing? Absolutely it does.  Hell, I've met doctors that I would say are certainly book smart but are seriously lacking in the common sense/street smarts department. I have this theory that people like doctors get so caught up in learning about medicine and the human body that it leaves little room for much else in their minds.  I do love learning though, which is another pro for the higher education column. But I would much rather learn at my own pace and focus on things that are important to me rather than taking required courses just to get the credits to graduate. And then of course there is the inevitable debt that comes with it all. No, sir, I don’t like it. I can educate myself and live debt free .

One of my biggest problems is that I don't talk enough out loud about what's on my mind. This most definitely contributes to my “not feeling smart enough” problem.   I need to work on fixing that. Usually during group conversations, everyone spouts of their different ideas and theories about this, that or the other thing and I just sit there quietly and listen. Most of the time, I just can’t keep up with what’s being thrown around. Everyone is so quick witted and ready to spout of the next fact or morsel of information they have.  It’s not that I can’t follow the dialogue (well, I guess that depends on the person speaking) but there’s just so much information coming at me back and forth and sideways that my brain just can’t process it all. It’s awful. In the moment, it makes me feel weak and inferior.  I usually end up beating myself up a lot over things like that but that also happens on a normal Monday when I’ve had too much time to think.

It’s not until sometime after said big group discussion that my brain finally decides to kick in and have an opinion about the topic. Then of course after that I can have endless conversations in my own head about the discussion that no one ever gets to really hear. Well Yeti hears them of course because I trust that if I say something stupid/unintelligent, he’ll explain it to me in a way that doesn’t make me feel even worse about myself. Although if the previously mentioned topic is math or numbers related, I’m a lost cause. Math and I don’t mix. Does this happen to anyone else? Is it just me? 

But then there are times when the opposite happens. Well, somewhat opposite anyway. For example: One day Yeti and I were in a grocery store around Christmas time and we came across a gentleman looking rather befuddled in the baking aisle (which I could probably walk down blind-folded and find what I need).  He stopped an employee who was stocking shelves and asked him for royal icing (presumably for a gingerbread house considering the time of year). The store clerk was stumped and wasn’t exactly sure where it was either.  Then they began discussing how they didn’t even know the difference between royal icing and regular frosting and how silly it seemed to try and differentiate the two. It was about that time when Yeti started poking and prodding me to intervene since I actually HAVE useful information on the subject. All I had to say was “Actually there is a difference between royal icing and frosting but you’re probably not going to find it at the grocery store anyway. You either have to make it or buy it at Michael’s or A.C. Moore.” That’s it, just a simple two-sentence answer. I knew the exact answer they were both looking for but I couldn’t do it. I froze. My natural instincts as an introvert took over and made me shy away. So even if I DO have the right words to say or valid information on my side to share, I still can’t do it. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Sometimes it sucks being Jo.

There are rare occasions when I do decide to contribute to intelligent conversations with something witty and clever. And then I get all tongue-tied and stuttery.  The stuttering does not help when I’m trying to assert myself either. Am I just talking too fast? Or not processing my thoughts fast enough? Or is it that I’m just thinking way too much before I speak on purpose so I don’t say something stupid. Why does my awkwardness constantly get in my way? 

I can’t remember much about math equations or past political events/leaders that changed the course of history, but I can tell you random facts about film, music and movies from a bygone era that nobody in their right mind should know.  And I’m not sure why that is exactly.  I can recall events and info about the strangest and most obscene things….but I have trouble when it comes to finding percentages and substituting x for y.

And then I come across something like these jokes here or I watch something like this and I understand every word.  It all makes sense. Yeti and I went to a talk with Dr. Michio Kaku just last Wednesday and found it all so fascinating and followed along with every point that Dr. Kaku made. In fact, I left wanting to hear more! I’m even contemplating reading the book we got signed by him, which is strange! It’s a physics book. A theoretical physics book and I’m seriously considering picking it up when I’m done with what I’m currently reading. On Sunday night, I watched Cosmos and I enjoyed the hell out of it. It was presented beautifully and everything that was said really seemed to stick in my brain. In real time too, without any sort of "processing" time. And in those moments, I feel like the smartest person in the world because I know there are more than a few people who would probably be lost. Where is all that smart confidence when I need it? Why does it seem to disappear and reappear at the most inopportune times?

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that maybe I just wasn't meant to know some things. Maybe I'm just not equipped for everything. Maybe I just learn differently than others. I'm not exactly sure. But what I do know is even though I may not think i'm all that spectacular in the brains department I have plenty of other qualities to make up for it. I may not know much about quantum mechanics or politicial science but I can certainly bake you the best damn cake you've ever had! :) I can also lend you a shoulder to cry on or I can be a sounding board if you need to vent! But don't ask me to help you with your calculus, because you're on your own there ;)

Positives

So it has officially been over TWO MONTHS since my last post. Go Jo!!

I can't say I'm disappointed or surprised. I am, after all, working a full time job and trying to start my own bakery business sooooo I've been a little preoccupied lately. Luckily for me though my full time job seems to have sent me to a place where there isn't much else to do but be alone with my thoughts and sit in front of a computer most of the day. What better to do then get some of those thoughts out on the blog, right?

At first, I was kinda sad that I'm stuck (for the foreseeable future) in the most boring building we have. But now I'm trying to focus on the positives. Around Thanksgiving, I began posting what I was grateful for each day. I'd like to get back into that if I can. For example: Since my hours have changed and Yeti got a promotion at his job (Yay Yeti!) I've been taking the T into work every morning. Sure, it sucks and it's cold and it's crowded but I get to read more! I consider that a win! It's hard for me to find time to sit and actually READ things. I really want to! It's hard though. Now I have actual reading time. It may only be about 20 minutes a day or so depending on what the T is up to, but at least it's time I didn't have before! My first book of choice: American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Starting every day off with some Gaiman is the best! And that's only ONE of my positive things for the day.

There's also been a lot of excitement coming from the bakery side of things! I had two relatively big "professional" events to do cupcakes for! The first was in the middle of February for BOSKONE, which is the New England Science Fiction Association's (a.k.a. NESFA) yearly sci-fi, horror, and fantasy convention! It was a ton of fun do the cupcakes for their "Meet and Greet" event but man was I nervous! It was my first gig for a large group! 6 dozen to be exact! And to make things even harder, I only got official word to do the job about 10 days before the event! AHHH!!! So there was a lot of late nights and early morning leading up to it, but the end result was nothing short of fantastic! I'm particularly proud of the One Ring set. I literally practiced writing in Elvish over and over and over so it would be just right when the time came to put it on the fondant.

The best part though was getting to watch total strangers get excited over my cupcakes! Family and friends are one thing and I truly appreciate all the work I've gotten to do for them but there is nothing quite like standing back and hearing people talk about your work with such excitement! There were 72 cupcakes total and they were gone in under an hour. I was floored. I will always be grateful to people at NESFA for giving me my first big "break". I look forward to doing the con again next year (if they'll have me, of course!).

At the tail end of February, I had a really amazing opportunity cross my path via a couple of my really good friends (thanks Mike and Steph) to participate in the MGH Blood Donor Center's very last Cupcake Tasting Event! Yeah, you read that correctly. MGH. As in Massachusetts General Hospital. As in one of the most world-renowned medical institutions in the world, if not the country! How could I turn it down? Not only was it Mass General, but I also got the chance to showcase my wares  in an environment that also included a few of the bigger name bakeries in the Boston area including Sweet, Flour and Lyndell's! I may  have been more nervous for that than Boskone. How was I supposed compete with those?? But I think the Jostess Bakery held up pretty well against the competition:

I couldn't believe how they just sort of fit in with the others. At first glance, you would never be able to tell I was just a small business just starting out! Currently, i'm waiting to get some comment cards from the event coordinator about my cupcakes. It will be interesting (and terrifying)to see what people have to say about my product compared to the other pros :). 

I'm really hoping that these two big events bring some more business my way! In the meantime, I am working on getting all my ducks in a row on the business side of things like looking for community kitchens to work out of, food-safe certification classes, networking and building an online presence, etc. People really do seem to be shocked when I mention all the steps I'm taking to make this bakery a reality. "Wow you really are serious!" seems to be the general consensus. 

I'm not sure how I feel about that or what that says about me as a person, but I am completely sure that this is what I need to be doing with my life in order to be even happier than I already I am. I have everything I need. My awesome Yeti, amazing family and friends, food in my belly, clothes on my back, a roof over my head and I finally feel like i'm on the right path to a career that I will love. So many positives and exciting things to look forward to! I just hope that this pattern continues ;). 

Reflections

As 2013 comes to a close, I'm thinking of all the things that made this year magical and special, all the amazing people who were a part of it, and how truly lucky I am for everything I have. Sometimes when I have bad days and I feel like I'm just stuck in a rut that I can never get out of, I only need to look to these amazing memories to remind myself of all the wonderful things I've done and will continue to do throughout 2014 and even past that.

I have a really good feeling about the coming year, despite getting some rather upsetting news on New Years Eve. At first it got me worried. I thought it was a bad sign that this is how the new year was starting for us. But then I realized something. It wasn't 2014 bringing me the bad news. It was just the end of 2013 spitting out the last nasty bits that it could. It wasn't a bad year overall for us. There were some unpleasant moments of course but I feel like Yeti and I grew a lot both as individuals and as a couple. It's an important thing to be able to grow together and embrace any changes and challenges that life may through your way. I'm so lucky to have an amazing partner to go through this crazy thing called life with :).

I'm not sure if I actually have any "resolutions" for the coming year. It's more like I have some goals and a general rule of thumb in my mind, but we'll get into the goals later. For now I want to focus on my new rule, and that is simply this: to be nicer to myself.

Most people make resolutions surrounding physical health such as losing weight but I feel like emotional health is just as important. I'll still make an effort to hit the gym or do some exercising as much as I can, but I realized something over the course of 2013. I really am my own worst enemy. Is it sad that i'm 30 years old and still have self esteem issues? Especially when it comes to my cakes or any other foray into the creative world I may try. I never like anything I write and my cakes are always meh, even though I know there is evidence to the contrary. For some reason, I'm convinced that i'm not allowed to be good at anything or know more about a certain subject than someone. I wish I knew why that was. I'm constantly asking Fred to proofread the things I write and then never believe him when he says they're good. The same goes for my cakes. I think the fact that i'm very detail oriented and a perfectionist also attributes to that. It's for this very reason that i'm thankful for the people I have surrounding me now. They're so good at helping me believe that i'm good enough and I am getting there, slowly but surely.

I have two goals for this year and one is slightly harder than the other but i'm making great strides to get them both moving! One of course is to keep on working to make the Jostess Bakery a success. Thanks to everyone who has already put in cake orders and are spreading the word!! 2014 is going to be a big year I think. A few weeks ago I was off for a few days from my real grown-up job at the medical center and I spent a good chunk of time working and baking Christmas treats. Not once did I feel stressed or feel like I was doing work. I knew then that baking is where my heart truly lies. I just have to keep at it, do my best and I know I can turn the bakery into something more than just a hobby.

My second goal  (and I think this has been the same for me for the past few years now) is to finish some of the long term writing projects I've been working on for god only knows how long now. I think once I actually FINISH something, that will put me on the right track to get the rest done. I've worked out that for at least 2 or 3 hours each day, I will sit down and write. Even if I only get one page done, or a paragraph or a sentence, I need to make a little bit of progress each day. I will be okay with that. I'm excited about the direction the stories are going to take. I think I came up with a really neat way to link them all up so they are occurring around the same time in the same universe. I can't wait to put everything together and see how it turns out! :)

About two weeks or so ago, Facebook put together a little "Year In Review" thing that supposedly pulls together all your "biggest moments" from the year, which I thought was cool, but I feel like they left out some key moments. Moments that for me were personally satisfying not just because of how many "likes" or comments they got. So I decided to make up my own little photo collage to commemorate 2013 of some of my absolute favorite moments. What a year it was! All these people, all these places and all these things have meant so much to me this year .Although I wish I had a group shot of my fellow Arkham Horror Book Clubbers to include in here.

 





I mean, really, how many people can put meeting George R.R. Martin on their list of  awesome moments from 2013??

Since this post is already as long-winded as it is I will close it out by simply wishing you and yours nothing but love and happiness for the New Year! And, well, i'll leave the rest up this guy:

Misinterpretations?

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." - Matthew 5:7

It really is out of character for me to get into sociopolitical issues. Especially when it comes to arguing about them.

Yeti and I have discussed this before. I often question why he bothers arguing with people who will probably never see his point of view no matter how hard he tries. It just seems like an unnecessary stress that I really don't need in my life. Now that doesn't mean I don't enjoy healthy and deep conversations from time to time.  I think a symposium atmosphere or even a blog like this are important outlets for expressing ones views and opinions.  But when that healthy discussion devolves into something vile and angry, I just don't understand continuing on in such a manner. For some reason though, this Duck Dynasty thing really got my brain going.

Yeah, I know i'm a *little* late to the party. My brain processes things somewhat slower sometimes. Now It hasn't made me angry at all. I'm not mad that Phil Robertson disapproves of gays and i'm not mad that A&E did what they did. I'm just....curious. After reading all the different view points, from liberals to conservatives and Christians to non-Christians, I really am curious....how can everyone be reading the same Bible and hearing the same word preached and come out with completely different interpretations of it?

Being raised in church myself and having since moved on to form my own views and opinions about the world, I can't understand where this message of hate comes across. Or to be more forgiving, the message of intolerance. Did I miss it? I recently got into a mini-spat with my mother over an image I shared on Facebook which portrayed the following sentiment:

Touching, eh? When I posted it, I picked out a few choice descriptions of myself from the above list since apparently Hell awaits us all. My mother didn't understand why I chose what I did stating that I was raised a Christian! To which I replied, yes that is true but this is not what I was taught. I was not taught to hate or be judgmental. I was taught to love and forgive. So this person who was allegedly WEARING this horrible message was obviously led down a different path/to a series of different beliefs than I was but was still somehow labeled a Christian. I don't understand. I was actually kind of shocked by my mothers reaction as well to be honest. But I think hers was more one of confusion. 

How is it that the Christian-turned-Pagan questions the motives and actions of those who call themselves Christian? Not in a judgemental way, which is an important distinction to make, but moreso from a purely quizzical stand point. Something about this seems wrong. Have I just been out of the game too long that things have changed? It baffles me. I know plenty of Christians who are genuinely good people. They help others, are active with their respective parishes, do volunteer work, believe in equal rights for everyone and present themselves in a way that I think Christ would approve of. But then there are others that, well, call themselves "Christian" but seem to embrace some of the worst qualities of humanity and I don't understand it. Where does the disconnect happen? They're taught from the same scriptures, as was I, but the message seems to be interpreted differently.

I also don't understand the reaction to the current Pope. For the most part, he has been received beautifully. His words and actions have rallied believers and atheists alike behind his causes.  The low-profile life he has chosen over the usual flashy and ostentatious lifestyle led by his predecessors speaks volumes. But...why is it that when Pope Francis proclaims he wants to help the poor he is called a Marxist or has his sincerity questioned? I thought that is what Christ wanted from his followers: Feed the hungry, help the needy and expect nothing in return. Have we really turned into a society where good deeds, even those performed by the Pope himself, are vilified? Do we really always need to have a bad guy to blame? Damned if you do or damned if you don't, I guess.

I may just be somewhat ignorant on this matter considering how many questions I have about it. I'm sure this post will be met with several comments and remarks alone the lines of "Well this bible verse says this.." and "Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judge" or something like that. Everyone has the right to their own opinion. But don't expect me to come back at you with some witty retort or drawn-out explanation of my beliefs. I'm merely putting my two cents out there to hopefully make some people think a bit. Calling yourself a Christian means you are a follower of Christ. If there's one thing I do know about Christ, it's that he definitely was not walking around like a self-righteous asshole judging people. So in conclusion: Stop being an asshole in the name of Christ, you're just pissing people off. 

Spoilers, Sweetie...

Yikes!!

I can't believe it's been over a week since my last post! Time has certainly gotten away from me this week. I have been thinking about posting, I really have. I've spent the last few days in a Doctor Who-induced frenzy between baking an awesome 50th Anniversary cake and the special episode airing on Saturday! It was so much fun! What do you guys think of this cake I made?

Neat huh?? I love how it turned out! As you can see "The Day Of The Doctor" was a huge deal for Yeti and I. It was hard to really focus on much else. I know I've missed out on a week of posts about what I'm thankful for but I think today's post needs to focus on the Doctor. Becoming a Whovian was one of the best and worst decisions I've ever made. It’s very much like my relationship with my husband.By that I mean I always knew it was there, never thought in my wildest dreams that I would like it and now I don’t know how I went so long without it! And here's why - 

I can't say I've been a "Whovian" since the beginning. Hell, I haven't even been one for the past five years. But it certainly feels like I have been ever since Yeti introduced me to it less than a year ago. That's the thing about the Doctor. You don't have watch it from the very beginning (meaning William Hartnell) to get ALL of it. Once you know the basics and you understand who the Doctor is and what he does, you can jump right into his world at any given moment. I can watch that video up there and know exactly whats happening because even though he is portrayed by different people, his mission remains the same. Let me tell you my story about being immersed in his incredible journey through all of time and space. 

Back before my husband and I were married, he went on this crazy kick of re-watching all the recent Doctor Who episodes, beginning with the 9th Doctor and onward through 11. He had always watched it as a child but wanted to catch up with the new series. I thought it was the silliest thing. He would often ask “Well didn't your parents watch it? They were Trekkies after all. I bet you they watched Doctor Who.” Every time I would vehemently deny it. Because they didn't. They hardly even knew what it was when I would ask. 

Despite my harsh criticisms of the stupid looking Daleks, I tried not to discourage his enthusiasm. I even went so far as to make him a T.A.R.D.I.S.  birthday cake even before I cared enough to know what a T.A.R.D.I. S. was. That year I got him a Doctor Who book written by Douglas Adams, a Sonic Screwdriver keychain, something called a 500 Year Diary and a Fob Watch. What the hell were these things? I had no real idea, but I knew my husband would love them. I later learned after giving him those gifts that I had actually got him the Master’s Fob Watch (Oops!). A few weeks after his birthday we made a deal with each other. Since he didn’t understand why I went to the gym all the time and I didn’t understand his obsession with the Doctor, we decided that for every episode of Doctor Who that I watched, he would agree to go to the gym with me. That way we both get to do something we enjoy while spending more time together. Was I skeptical about this plan at first? Of course I was. My husband at the gym? Me watching Doctor Who? Yeah. Right.That’ll happen. This resulted in me watching a ton of Doctor Who and totally forgetting that the gym exists. That's how it all started.

We began my Whovian journey with Christopher Eccleston. At the end of the very first episode, I realized I didn't hate it. I wasn't crazy about it either. But it certainly was interesting. I was engrossed in the first few episodes but I could never let my husband actually know that. “It was alright”, I would say when he asked what I thought. I remember being concerned that Rose just decided to up and leave her mom and boyfriend behind. I remember being pleasantly surprised by an appearance by Simon Pegg as the Editor. I remember my first encounter with a Dalek and thinking that yes it actually IS that stupid looking. “Why are all these people afraid of that thing?" I would ask. Then I found out they could fly. And shoot lasers. And were virtually bullet proof. Yet I still couldn't understand why they looked so silly. Why would anyone do that to such a supposedly harsh and terrible being? My husband patiently answered all of my silly questions. I even found myself asking questions while we WEREN'T watching Doctor Who. What was happening to me? I couldn't believe I was taking an interest in this. Then Christopher Eccleston left us and in came David Tennant.

Then it all went downhill from there, in the best way possible of course.

David Tennant. The 10th Doctor. I've seen some amazing acting jobs in my lifetime but David truly BECAME the Doctor in a way that made him so enjoyable to watch on so many levels. Maybe it was his crazy hair or his snazzy suits or his uncanny ability to pull the feels right out of you through a television screen! There is a story that's been passed around the Doctor Who fandom about a young David in primary school being asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. His response was "An actor so I can play the Doctor", which is precisely what he did. He is the ultimate example of turning your dreams into reality. I'd say it took less than 3 months for Fred and I to get all the way through his run in those iconic red high tops and in that short span of time I cried more times for a fictional character than I ever have in my entire life. I learned to fear the stupid looking Daleks and the Cybermen because of what they were capable of. Especially when they were paired together! I watched an incredible bond and love grow between the Doctor and Rose Tyler, then watched them get ripped apart. Literally. I developed an intense hatred for Martha Jones (the companion following her) because of this.Who did she think she was anyway? Coming in and trying to take Rose's place. Horrible, I say! I remember being completely and utterly amazed by 10's compassion towards the villainous Master, even after he tried to destroy him just so he wouldn't be the last Time Lord left in the universe. I realized just how important every single person in the world is, no matter how insignificant they may feel thanks to the sassy Donna Noble (played the incomparable Catherine Tate). My heart broke for her in the end, it really did! Then when I was just about on the mend, we came to the regeneration of David Tennant. I still can't listen to "Vale Decem" without getting misty eyed. Who would've thought that 5 little words could open up the flood gates? "I don't want to go!" We didn't want you to go either, David. But all good things must come to an end, right?

Enter Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor. Now i'm not gonna lie. It took me a bit to warm up to a new Doctor AND a new companion at the same time. But Matt's charm and sometimes goofy demeanor won me over eventually. It's hard to hate a man who makes you believe that eating fish fingers and custard is really delicious. He's often been described as "an uncoordinated house-cat who acts like he meant to do that after falling off a piece of furniture". I think that pretty much sums it up. The only negative thing about his run as the Doctor is that he has to spend 2.5 seasons dealing with Amy Pond and her husband Rory Williams. They're just awful! Now Matt may look young but he certainly knows how to make you believe that he really is over 1000 years old.  He also has this amazing capability to go from calm and collected to intense and in your face in what feels like an instant. The speech in the above video clip is actually from the "Rings of Akhetan" which is one of my favorite Matt episodes. His ability to deliver meaningful monologues with such a passion is one of the reasons why he won me over! The onscreen chemistry with he shares with Alex Kingston, who plays Professor River Song,  is only rivaled by that of Billie Piper (Rose Tyler) and David Tennant. I feel like the only thing that has made his run as the Doctor better is the introduction of Clara Oswin Oswald. The Ponds never really looked out for the Doctor, but Clara does. Of course I can't tell you why in case you haven't seen the episode dealing with it but she really does blow Amy and Rory out of the water. 

Unfortunately, Matt's run is coming to an end in less than a month. This will be my first "live" regeneration since i'm all caught up with episodes now. I'm not exactly sure how i'm going to deal with it. Matt hasn't hit me as emotionally as David did but I've certainly gotten used to him in the role. I'm sad about it and really excited at the same time.I'm looking forward to what Peter Capaldi brings to the table! It's been a while since there's been a older Doctor. I mean, seriously, we just got this quick glimpse of the 12th Doctor in the 50th Anniversary:

And I can already feel that this guy means business!! Look at those eyes! I have to agree with one of the comments I read about this scene which was  "OMG The Daleks just shit their pants!" I'm pretty sure if they could, they would. It's going to be amazing!!

I guess since this is technically still part of my "Grateful" month of posts, the only way I can close this out is to say that I am extremely grateful for the Doctor. Happy 50th Anniversary, Doctor Who! Cheers to many many more years of adventures!! 

Days 15 -17: OOOOOPS

Missed a few days again!! What can I say? On Friday I was baking and decorating all day. And I must say, I'm pretty pleased with the results:

I've always loved Edward Gorey so I was extremely excited when I was asked to make these a few weeks ago. Now I know i'm not Picasso when it comes to the art department but I think I did pretty o.k. drawing these by hand. Time well spent I think! I'm actually EXTREMELY thankful for having an uneventful baking day on Friday! Normally at least one major thing goes wrong/doesn't cooperate with the plan I have in mind for my baking projects.  These were pretty labor intensive but I kept my cool and came out of it unscathed. Yay for growing and learning as a baker! 

Yesterday, however, I don't have much of an excuse for. I did work but I let my crazy brain get in the way of me posting anything worthwhile. I tried! I really did! I just happened to fall into a depressed slump after the crazy cupcake high. I think it's because reality set in and I had to come into work at me real job. BOOOOOO! One day (hopefully soon) I'll be able to just wake up and bake every single day instead of sitting at this cold, boring, desk. 

Over the past few days, there have been a lot of things to be thankful for regardless of my irrational mental state at times. I suppose I should be thankful that I at least have a job in this troubled economy. I'm thankful that I get the opportunity every day to help people because of it. Yeah, a steady paycheck, health benefits and a 401k are all good things to have too. I'm also really lucky to have the boss I have. I've heard horror stories from people about their horrible bosses.Considering I've known the guy 10 years and I don't have one bad thing to say about him should say a lot. And as stressful and busy as my job gets sometimes, it's really not a hard job. Maddening? Sure. Mind-numbing? Absolutely. Does it make me question the intelligence of the overall populace? Every single day. But is it hard? Not really.

I'm thankful that we got to help a good friend out over the weekend! That made me feel really good. We don't often get to see Craig because he lives so far away, but it was nice to have him with us! I hope next time it will be under better circumstances though.

I don't think I have much else to say. My mind is racing and can't seem to focus on any one thing today. But I feel good knowing I got at least SOMETHING written down and posted. I feel like I did something today!