New Years....Resolutions?

As this year comes to a close I find myself, along with many others, contemplating what my resolution for 2013 will be. So far I have come up with the following:

"Jo, get your fat ass up and BACK TO THE GYM!! RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RUN BEFORE!!"

                                                 or...

"Jo, sit your lazy ass down and WRITE MORE! Seriously, how many writing projects have been shelved recently?  4? 5?"

                                                 or...

"Jo, stop eating foods that are terrible for you! You're nearly 30 for fucks sake! Your heart and GI tract will thank you for it!"

                                                or.....

"Jo, you should bake more. I mean, seriously, that's probably the one thing you're good at. Make MORE desserts!!"

                           ...and last but certainly not least...

"Jo, READ!!!!!!!! Stop buying books and saying you're GOING to read them. Just read! It's really not that hard."

As you can see I have options. In all honesty though, I'm really not that mean to myself. But every so often I think I need a little "drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket-style" motivation to get my ass in gear. Although I think I'm missing a "maggot" or two in there somewhere. 

I was doing really well for a while heading to the gym every other day, which was partnered with eating better (i.e. cooking fresh meals, fruits and veggies for lunch, etc.). Over the past few weeks with every going on, I honestly haven't been in the mood for "healthy" food or working out. I really just wanted to curl up with Yeti on the couch in my bathrobe and PJ's and drink cocoa. And that's exactly what I did. Of course I'm feeling the effects of that now. I'm even starting to get flabby upper arms. That never happens to me! Somethings gotta change and soon. It looks like it's once again time for lunch-time salads and a much needed date to get re-acquainted with the treadmill. 

On to my poor writing projects: "The Job", "The Lovecraft Paradox", "Sadie" and "Christ Of The Dead" (a collaborative effort with Yeti). I kinda feel bad leaving all of my characters in limbo. I can't tell who is in worse shape. Aloysius Baxter Cunningham just got the snot beaten out of him in an alley way and Sadie just discovered how she can use her evil powers for good but she's been unable to use them! Ugh. Part of my problem is (you guessed it) TIME! I spend all day at work in front of a computer. You'd think I'd be able to get some of these things out! And my desk is not the kind of place I can easily whip out a notebook and jot down all the strange musings in my head. It's a constant barrage of interruptions as soon as I start to get a new idea. Even as I type this, Then of course by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of my computer (because I could be doing something else like, I don't know, GOING TO THE GYM, or baking, or reading). What a conundrum I find myself in. 

I'm quite proud of myself that I've finally embraced my inner baker, taking after my grandmother and father. There's something truly special about making a cake that is NOT from a boxed mix. Recently, with the unfortunate demise of the Hostess Snack Cake company (or whatever it was officially called), I've decided to take it upon myself to re-create some of their delicious treats for friends and family who can't have them anymore. All from scratch and without the additional junk and preservatives. So far the Jo-Stess Bakery seems to be a hit. The problem with making delicious cakes and treats, however, is the need to EAT THEM. In a house consisting of only myself and Yeti, that makes it hard! How does one practice their baking skills and watch what they're eating at the same time? Either your baking goes stale and bad, or you eat it and consume all those calories. Unfortunate circumstances abound all over the place. 

Of all the things on my list to "resolve to do" in 2013, reading more is near the bottom.Believe me, I understand the importance of reading, especially when writing is a hobby as well. The two go hand-in-hand. I'm not saying its any less important than my other resolutions, I just feel like I could be doing something else while i'm sitting and reading. I actually have the same problem when I think about going to bed or sleeping in general. "I could be doing something constructive with my time! Who needs sleep when there are so many things I could accomplish?!" Are you seeing a pattern here? It's a vicious cycle I find myself in at times. I have so many great books i'm looking forward to cracking open! But between sleeping, eating,working, spending quality time with Yeti, going to the gym, baking, writing, cleaning my house, finding time to spend with friends and family,and finding time to breathe in between all of that....reading seems so far down the list. 

Gawd, if I feel busy now, what's going to happen when I eventually have a kid? 

My friends, does your resolution look like this? Everything is so totally doable and easy, yet so ridiculously contradictory? Fuck. I feel like this year I am missing the point of making a resolution. Aren't you supposed to feel better when you come up with these things? Now I'm just confused. Although Maybe I'm not looking at the bigger picture here. Clearly I have a slew of things I want to improve on for 2013.  Maybe what I really need to work on for this new year is time management. I'm sure i'll work out some sort of schedule soon. But I guess I better get cracking since....2013 is literally a DAY AWAY! AHHHHH!!! 

I know I can do all of this but just writing this and reading it back is making me exhausted already. Despite all of this though, I look forward to the fresh start the New Year brings. After the way 2012 decided to end, I think we can all agree on that without a doubt. Hey, we survived the end of the world right ;)? I think that's reason enough to celebrate! In the immortal words of the Monty Python gang:

Cheers to 2013!

On Being an Auntie

It is with a heavy heart that I write this post today.

This past Friday, the 21st, my beautiful Aunt Sandra lost the fight for her life. It's only been 3 days and I already miss her terribly. I have only suffered a handful of gut-wrenching losses in my 30 years on this earth and this is by far one of the worst. It is exacerbated further knowing that my brother and I were less than 12 hours away from going to see her when we heard the news. I keep telling myself (and him) that we couldn't have known. It could have happened last week, a month from now, or even a month prior. We don't have control over these things, I know, but it still hurts. I take comfort knowing she is not in pain anymore and she is not suffering. I also know that she was welcomed to the next life by my baby cousin Adam and my grandfather (or Bumpa, as he was lovingly referred to). I'm somewhat jealous of her because of that actually.  I also know that even though the wounds are still fresh and that scar will always remain when it heals, I am now and always will be surrounded by some of the most amazing and strongest people in the world to help me through; My husband, my parents, my brother, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends and most importantly, especially now, my niece and nephews.

I have always loved my aunts. All of them. If I may say, without sounding too boastful, I feel like I was blessed with the cream of the crop.They have shown me how to love unconditionally, given me a shoulder to lean on in dark times and have taught me what family is all about. As a child, they were all extensions of my mother. Each and every one of them looking out for me, making sure I had whatever I wanted and  most importantly that I was taken care of. Now as an adult, my aunts have become some of my closest friends. My mothers sisters Wanda and Sandra, my fathers sisters Mary and Wendy, and those who have come to me by marriage Julie, Paula, Maria and Debbie have all shown me what an Aunt truly should be.They have all brought to the table something special that I will hold dear to me for as long as I live.

 My Aunt Sandra, in particular, would always ask me every time I saw her "Are you still writing?". She was constantly giving me notebooks as gifts and would encourage me to "keep on writing". It is because of her that I am able to put this together today. It is because of her that I am proud to write this. Yes, Auntie, I am still writing and I promise to keep writing if it will make you smile in the next life.

Over the past two years, I have been given the extraordinary gift of being an "auntie" to 3 incredible little children: Ellie, Michael and Sam. Saturday night, when I was still feeling raw from the loss, I got to spend time with all 3 of them. I can't tell you how much it lifted my spirits. Seeing their faces light up as they opened their gifts from Auntie Jo and Uncle Yeti filled me with such joy. I feel so blessed and lucky to a part of these children's lives. Even though we are not blood relatives, I will still treat them as if they were. I hope that as their "auntie", I am able to impact their little lives with the love and wisdom and strength the way my aunts have for me. I will honor my Aunt Sandra's memory by being the best auntie I can be for them. 

It is hard to get excited for the Christmas season, I know. We have seen so much tragedy just in this month alone. But I think it's important to hold to our traditions and celebrations, despite all of this. The living cannot stop,well, living just because a life or even lives have ended. By all means, mourn in the way you know how or the way that you prefer, but do not stop living. Our loved ones would not want us to do that. It is important to embrace the good, along with the bad. I think this song here sums it up particularly well. "In all the places we find love, it feels like Christmas". What an important sentiment to hold on to! Fill your homes and your hearts with love this season and then send that love to the heavens. I don't know about you all but I plan to laugh often, be merry, give hugs, maybe even shed a tear or two, and most importantly use the words "I love you" as much as possible.

Merry Christmas, Auntie Sandy. Merry Christmas to those precious little souls from Newtown, CT. Merry Christmas to all, and a wish of nothing but peace and happiness for 2013. 

Some Notes On "The Job", Newtown and Family....

Writing pet peeve #1: Losing perfectly good ideas while my brain wastes away at work. Where in the world do all my ideas go?? All my strange musings and questions about this crazy ass world around me seem to disappear like someone erased the chalkboard in my brain. Maybe I should get with the times and invest in a thumb drive for my brain or something. That way nothing gets lost. Aww hell, who am I kidding? I would probably lose the thumb drive. 

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for the past few days and it’s amazing how the nature of it has changed the longer I’ve been thinking about it. The tragic events that occurred over the weekend planted the seed in my head, and my own nearly life-shattering incidents with a few of my family members caused it to grow. I feel it is only fitting since I’ve decided to examine life and death in “The Job” to let loose how these happenings have affected me. Writing has always been a coping mechanism for me, so I hope that by getting some of this off my chest, sleep will come easier than it has the past few nights.

(Disclaimer: I feel the need to emphasize that this post is strictly going to be about my own philosophy in regard to life and death. There will be no mention of gun violence/gun control or how mental illness may have contributed to the unspeakable events that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School. There is a time and place for those discussions to happen. This blog is strictly for my own self examination and this is how I choose to deal with this specific situation.)  

When I first started writing “The Job”, my initial goal with it was to maybe help people re-examine how they view death. In it our main character, obsessed with his own demise, is not only faced with it but also accompanies Death while it merely does what it is there to do: it’s job. In Part 3 (which I’ve yet to put up), we get to witness what happens when someone IS ready for death and how the spirit himself copes with it, trying to get our main character to understand what passing from this life to the next truly entails. Hell, we even find out where ghosts come from. However, when the subject matter hits so close to home and in such a violent manner, it’s made even me step back and re-examine my thoughts on Death. I guess that happens when you think you finally have everything figured out. 

Beginning with hearing the news of the tragedy in Newtown, CT, it seemed like Death was knocking everywhere I turned. Just as I had begun to process what happened there, I got a call (a text to be more specific) informing me that my aunt had taken a turn for the worse. Although I had been expecting a call like that for some time now, it still didn’t make it any easier to hear. Just over 12 hours later, I got another call concerning my beloved grandfather who was also admitted to the hospital after a bad fall. Armed with only the knowledge that he had fallen and was being admitted to the ICU, I broke down. When was the bad news going to stop? It got to the point where I was literally shaking in fear the next time the phone rang. It seemed as though everything was coming apart at the seams.

As I type this, however, both my grandfather and aunt are still with us. As much as I am thankful to the Fates for choosing to give my relatives more time on this Earth, I can’t help but wonder why. Seemingly their lives were spared whereas 26 people, including 20 children, all had their lives stolen from them in the blink of an eye.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason but this has me baffled.

Were these innocent little lives taken to spare them from having to relive the horror of what they experienced that day? Were they just in the wrong place at the wrong time? And why did it have to happen during what is supposed to be one of the most joyous times of the year? Sometimes I wonder why my brain even goes to these bizarre places in regards to a tragedy such as this when there seems to be bigger issues at hand.

In my story, Death acts as a comforter and a healer of sorts. Death is there to come to the aide of those who are ailing, or in pain, or even those coming to the end of a truly long life and are ready to rest. It does not come as a harbinger of grief and sorrow to those who truly need it. I guess to be perfectly blunt about it you could call Death the Jack Kevorkian of the spirit world. That is how I began to view death in my adult life. I would certainly like to hold on that ideal, but it is getting more and more difficult everyday. 


I can only seem to come up with one somewhat rational idea as to why these things have transpired the way they did. I think we forget from time to time just how precious life is. We get so caught up in our fast-paced, day-to-day lives that we need reminding just how quickly things can change. Maybe this is fates way of telling us all to slow down. Enjoy this precious time that we have been given with out loved ones. Make each minute with them count. As much as it seems unfair that my grandfather and aunt will be with us longer and these poor children lost their lives, my family and I have been given more time with them. I will cherish what short time we all have left together because I don't know when they will be gone. 

I think all this yelling and going back and forth about gun control/accessibility and arguing about how to deal with the mentally ill is all for naught. Instead of yelling at the lefty liberal who wants to take away everyone's guns or that right-wing conservative that wants to arm everyone with assault rifle's, why not channel that energy into something positive? What's important right now are our children, our mothers and fathers, our grandparents, aunts and uncles, and our nieces and nephews. Choose love instead of hate. Cherish life now.

I hope that one day a tragedy such as this doesn't have to occur to snap us back to reality about our own mortality. I also hope that one day we have the real reason why these things happen and stop fighting each other over them.

The Job: Part 2

Well that took me long enough, didn't it? I have this horrible habit of making a resolution to do something regularly (i.e. writing, going to the gym, etc.) and the somehow ending up having a slew of random events filling up calender!  It's like a universal conspiracy is going on or something! Well I've got news for the Universe: This chick does not give up easily! I will get EVERYTHING I have to do done. Even if it takes me  a little while, it will STILL come to an end. So without further ado (because I know you've all been chomping at the bit, right :-p ), here is part 2 of 3 of "The Job". Quick refresher since I  know it's been a bit since the last installment: Our poor, unfortunate soul of an anti-hero just met with Death and it's quite clear that things are not going to be heading in the direction he thought they were. 

It stood quietly. It wore a tattered black robe and seemed to emit a pearlescent, unearthly shimmer. The robe billowed as if it was being blown by some unseen wind from beyond. Its face, if it had one at all, was shrouded in the darkness of the robes hood. In one hand, it held the scythe that is so synonymous with its name. The embers from my wood stove reflected off the sharp blade and it gave off a hellacious glow. I froze. Death had finally come for me.

I cried out and trembled as I slowly stood to face my fate. The moment I had been waiting for was far more terrifying than I expected. “I knew you would come for me.” I said. “I knew it was only a matter of time.” It stood silently staring at me. The vacant space that I could only identify as its head seemed to curiously tilt to one side. “So this is where it ends. For you are the great and powerful Death! This is the auspicious moment that we all must pass through. You are the undeniable force and you came just as I expected. Unannounced, like a thief in the night, ready to strike at any moment. But you’ve failed at that! I’ve known you were coming! Well go on then, take my life. I’ve been waiting for you!”

Death held up it’s skeletal hand and gestured for me to be silent. It seemed to let out a diabolical chuckle. Finally it spoke. “You say that you have been waiting for my arrival but I must ask...do you even know why I am here? And how long have you been rehearsing that eloquent soliloquy? Did you really think you would have time to recite it?” The voice was deep and echoed like it bounced off the walls of an endless cavern. I stood aghast at this statement. Why would Death ask me this? “Great and powerful, you say. I’m sorry to disappoint you but, I am anything but. Your assessment of what I do is also curious. But it only makes sense considering the, how should I put this, powers that be have listed you as ‘Alive yet Dead’ or the equivalent of a lost cause. That, my friend, is why I am here.”

“So then you’ve come to put me out of my misery?” I asked quietly.

“Ahh.” Death chuckled once again.”You are so eager to pass from this world. Maybe I should take you after all and give you what you want.”

“Ha!” I scoffed. “So I want this? Does anybody want this? How dare you imply that anyone WANTS to die. But that is how you operate, I know it. That is what you tell everyone when you get caught, isn’t it?”

“The misconceptions you have about me and what I do are laughable.”

“What kind of game are you playing at here? I don’t understand. If you’re trying to trick me,I can tell you it’s not working.”

“Silence!” The voice of Death boomed and shook the room. It filled me with such dread that I feel to floor trembling. “I am not trying to fool you! Your ignorance will be what dooms you! Now take heed to what I am about to say.” With that, I froze. I nodded silently in agreeance. Whatever Death had come for, whether it be to take my life or not, I would not actively resist but I would watch it carefully. “It is your own unknowing opinion of what we do that brings me to you this night! If you will come with me now, and allow me to show the true nature of Death, I promise that no harm will come to you.” It held out it’s arm swathed in black, tattered cloth.

I stood slowly, still feeling an impenetrable weakness and quivering running up and down my legs. Where would Death take me? Should I trust it, or him or her, or whatever it was? After all I was supposed to be ready for this, wasn’t I? I spoke not a word and cautiously took it’s bony, cold hand. At the moment I  knew this was truly real. Death really was standing in front of me and I had made contact with it. There was no turning back now. For all I knew, I could’ve been dead already. What choice did I have? “Very well then. Know this, my friend: Where I am about to take you is a place that few see. A perspective and understanding that very few are able to grasp.”

As it spoke, the walls of my home seemed to melt away like candle wax revealing a velvety blackness intertwined with bits of iridescent silver and gray moving fluidly around us. The floor rippled beneath my feet and it too dripped away, even though I still felt as if I was standing on solid ground. A biting cold breeze swirled around us. The faint glimmer from the wood stove behind me was the last bit of my reality to fade away. I watched as it’s resplendent reflection in the blade faded to nothing more than a candle flicker before it was extinguished completely. I could barely make out my otherworldly guide who stood merely feet in front of me, and whose glacial phalanges still gripped me. The stinging breeze increased to a wintry storm force gale and cut right through me like a hot knife through butter. I shivered throughout.

After several excruciating minutes being pummeled by the numbing cyclone, it came to an abrupt end. Low and behold, bits of white light shone through the void. The swirling stopped and the blackness faded. The scene beginning to emerge around us none other than the stark white cleanliness of a hospital wing. We stood in the middle of a long hallway with wooden double doors in front of us and a set of clunky old elevators which clunkily churned to our right. Various precautionary signs lined the walls. I turned to ask the spirit of Death Incarnate why we had come here, only to find that it was not the being I had exited my home with. What stood before me can be described only as a form of angel. Death now wore a long, white, silk robe and bore no staff or devilish sycthe. It had human-looking hands and a face. It’s golden hair settled neatly on it’s shoulders. I was no longer afraid of this form of Death. But why had it changed forms? What was going on? What was I about to witness? I opened my mouth to speak but it chimed in before I could even utter a syllable.

“From this point on, you are nothing but a mere shadow of yourself. No one will be able to see you or interact with you. What brings us here today is the true nature of what I do. You seem to think you understand what my job is. Today you will learn. I am more than just a harbinger of sadness and woe.”

Look for Part 3 of 'The Job" coming soon!! 

P.S. It has nothing do with Animaniacs or checkers, i've just always loved this portrayal of Death and needed to include it somewhere! You can watch an excerot from the episode here!

Something....

I really have no concrete reason for writing this post. It's mainly so I can stop feeling sorry for myself about my 'lil bout of writers block and just write SOMETHING at least. I started blogging again for this exact reason. Just to write.

It's just been a "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" kind of day, I guess. I'm trying really hard to see the silver lining today and not having much luck, which is not like me at all! I mean really, what do I have to complain about? I woke up today, didn't I? That should be enough. I have another day to keep on living! Yet I still want to go back to bed and just cuddle with Yeti. I hope examining what could POSSIBLY be wrong helps a bit.

 "The Job" is really pissing me off. No, not my actual job, it's the short story that I'm writing. I hate when I have a really awesome idea and all I want is for it to be amazing on several different levels....and then I sit down to write it. Then all those awesome ideas go flying out of my brain. I know i'm not the only person to experience this. It's just frustrating as all hell. I have the words to type out this blog but not to write an amazing story? WTF is that shit all about?

 Maybe it's because I'm having so much trouble getting back to the gym. Every time I think I can get back on a routine and start going regularly again. Sometimes all I need is to break a good sweat to start feeling like my old self again. Maybe after a good run i'll be back in the game. The next question I guess is: When can I go for a run?

 It could also be possible that I'm coming off a post-holiday high. Yeti and I cooked the Thanksgiving meal yesterday and what a team we were! Move over Jacques Pepin and Julia Child! We had such an amazing time together yesterday (as we always do), but that could be contributing to why I'm feeling down today. Our amazing culinary adventure is over. The company was also a contributing factor to my wonderful day yesterday. There was wonderful dinner conversation, drinks and a fire to boot. And now it's all over. Womp, womp.

 Ugh.

Thankful

Yesterday was a really rough day at work. My boss even made the remark "Is this really the day before Thanksgiving??" Why yes, boss. That gigantic shit show of a day was the day before a major holiday. But as crazy it was and no matter how many times I wanted to rip my hair out throughout the day, every "Happy Thanksgiving" wish I heard helped me step back and see the big picture. I have plenty of things to be grateful for, this year and always.

I escorted a blind woman to her  appointment yesterday. How thankful and happy she was that someone was there to help her. In return, it made me thankful to have a job where I can help people and feel like i'm making some small difference in their lives. It also made me thankful to have my sight. Everyday I get up to wake up and absorb all this world has to offer just by being able to SEE it. As crazy as it gets out there some days, I appreciate every moment.

I also brought an old man to his appointment in a wheelchair. He could barely stand, let alone walk. I thought about how lucky I am to still have reliable legs to stand on. I can still go for walks when i'm frustrated, go for a run at the gym and I don't mind standing for as long as I need to. I know I may lose that ability over time so I'm going to take advantage of it as long as I can.

This year, my life has been chock full of so many wonderful new experiences and amazing new people. Thinking back over the past 12 months, I have so much to give thanks for:

I'm thankful for my new family I got when I married Yeti. Everyone is just wonderful and has done one hell of a job making me feel like I belong. I'm even cooking the meal today at my father-in-laws. Thats a good sign right? ;)

I'm thankful for my OWN family who has seen me through thick and thin. Things may not be perfect for all of us right now but we will always have EACH OTHER to see us through. I love you all and we will overcome whatever life throws at us!

I'm thankful for all of my AMAZING friends!! From the crazy trips and adventures we all take to just casual game nights, I appreciate it all! I'm  even thankful for my newest friends: a group of strangers I met on the internet called the Arkham Horror Book Club. You guys rock my socks off!

And last but not least: I am eternally for grateful for my Yeti. Everyday I am reminded of another reason why I am so thankful for him. He deals with my extreme ups and downs, is a constant pillar of support when it comes to my writing, encourages me to try new and interesting things, opens my mind to new  ideas. He is my rock

Superfically, i'm thankful for Blogger Mobile (without which I wouldn't be able to post this) and Gordon Ramsey for providing an outstanding turkey prep recipe for his fans.

I guess all that's left now is to cook this little turkey I've prepared thanks to Mr. Ramsey.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!

The Job: Part 1

It would seem that I can't seem to get a hang of this whole "blogging every day" thing. At least this time around I have a somewhat good excuse for why not. I've been working on a short story! I've got TWO new ideas kicking around in my noggin for you guys. The first of which is entitled "The Job". I don't want to give too much away because I want the story to speak for itself but its about what happens when a man (or woman, the narration is open to interpretation) is confronted by...uhm...a rather unpleasant visitor. Unfortunately, this is only part 1 as I've been having a good share of technical difficulties trying to finish it up. The end is nearly in sight though, so I promise not to keep you waiting for too long for the finale! So enjoy part 1, and if you like what you see share it around and leave a comment or two with some feedback! Happy reading!  

                                              Part 1

They say that only two things in life are certain: Death and taxes. Neither of which we can do anything about. Well, I guess you could technically consider tax evasion as a way around the latter but eventually it will catch up with you. Death, however, is unavoidable no matter how hard you try.

For a long time I feared this notion, as so many people do. For most the reason is as simple as fear of the unknown. Fear of what will happen after they are cut loose from the mortal coil. Will they be reincarnated to be taught a lesson still unlearned or reach the utmost level of Nirvana? Will they float through an endless limbo while they await judgement? Or will they simply rot in the ground where they will inevitably become nothing more than a veritable smorgasbord for the worms? My fear was an amalgam of all these things, but stems from not knowing just when said unfortunate event would occur. It wasn’t until I stared death in the face that I conquered this.

As far back as I can remember, I feared that moment. The moment when my last breathe would escape my lungs and I would be no more. No more time to laugh or cry, no more opportunities to dance and sing. The party would be over. A solid chunk of my life was spent thinking I was going to die at any moment. Why? I’m not entirely sure anymore. Having seen lives cut too short due to disease or outside forces made me a little gun shy I guess.

No I didn’t have some harrowing “near death experience” as it’s commonly known. Not in that sense anyway. I never saw a “white light” or “floated above my body” or heard anyone call my name. I caught it strictly by accident. It tried to take me by surprise, as death often does. It tried and failed. And I stood face to face against something most never see coming.

I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was an unseasonably warm day in November. Everyone revelled in the last fleeting bit of summer before the winter’s icy grip took hold. But not me.The glittering rays of the sun that seemed to favor the rest of the world, was shrouded by an ominous grey cloud that hung over my head. My malcontent for the day partnered with an unshakable chill plaguing me took hold and left me with an unfathomable sense of foreboding.  I felt a presence looming that was just beyond my reach. I've caught glimpses in the corner of my eye before, but never giving it too much mind. This day, however, that figure loomed longer than usual.

It followed throughout my work day and hellacious commute home. Like a stalker in the night, it stayed just far enough back to elude me. The overall theme of the day led me to suspect it was just my overactive imagination playing tricks on me. I never once looked back. Later on in the evening I curled up in my red, suede, easy chair in front of my small,glowing, wood stove for my daily escape hoping to ease my troubled mind. A good book by my favorite author and a snifter of my favorite brandy would surely do the trick and distract me from the negativity surrounding me.  A few pages in, an inescapable feeling of dread still loomed behind me. I glanced quickly to my right and as sure as I am writing this, there stood the strange figure.

I quietly watched it while it watched me. I knew if I turned to face whatever the thing was, it would turn out to be nothing more than my own coat rack and rain slicker. My heart began to pound as the mysterious form inched closer and closer ever so slowly. The blackness of the room seemed to envelop and almost suffocate me. The sting of a thousand frozen barbs filled my lungs. The anomalous creature, or whatever it was,now hovered directly over my right shoulder. I clutched my book in my hand, ready to strike whatever it was. I rapidly turned and cried out to high heaven. It was, in fact, a creature and not a coat rack at all. I stood in the presence of Death.

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion coming within the next few days!

Our NOLA Adventure!

Ok, so mayyybe making my triumphant return to blogging a week before we leave for vacation was not the smartest idea. I really didn't have the time nor the resources to be blogging every single day, but I didn't really feel the need to either. Plus I knew once I got home, I was gonna have a ton of time to blog my little heart out!

Then of course, as these things go, my computer monitor crapped out on me. Now I know what you're all thinking: "But Jo, don't you have a smart phone?" As a matter of fact I do! But have you tried writing a lengthy blog post on a tiny screen and an equally tiny keyboard? Yeah, it sucks. So, apologies for the radio silence, but everything is back in working order and life is less full now so I should back to blogging in no time. My once-fried brain is finally starting to churn out fun ideas again. Now without further ado: A quick(ish) recap of our trip!

Our story began with an immediate offer to fly directly down to NOLA instead of our original connecting flight. We knew this trip was already off to a good start! We stayed at a beautiful little hotel on the border of the Garden District called the Prytania Park Hotel. Our room was small, but unique and full of character! Much better than any downtown hotel chain could offer. We spent our first full day in the city getting acclimated to our neighborhood, and what a neighborhood it was! Gorgeous Greek revival style homes surrounded us at every turn! We even found the former home of one of  my favorite authors, Anne Rice! There was a delicious barbecue restaurant literally steps away from the front door of our hotel and we couldn't have been happier with that!

Once we left the Garden District, it was a bit of a walk to the French Quarter, so we spent most of our days there.  The streetcar we normally would've taken through town was undergoing repairs in preparation for the upcoming insanity that is Super Bowl/ Mardi Gras week in February 2013! We walked EVERYWHERE because of this! Even though our lower extremities were sore and tired by the end of the day we loved every minute of it! All the exercise we got burned off all the calories from the copious amounts of delicious food and drink we were lucky enough to experience. There were pralines, beignets, craw fish, catfish, gumbo, jambalaya, dirty rice, cafe au lait, sweet tea, apple cobbler, king cake, pickle chips (those are a real thing that exist!), and a slew of others! We never left the city hungry at all!!

 

We even made some ghost "friends" on one of our treks! Haunted History Tours never fails to impress when it comes to providing a fun and informative tour experience. If you get a chance to visit the city, by all means check them out! We took a jaunt through the cemetery with our charismatic and fun guide, Charles, through St. Louis Cemetery #1 and later on that same night we were led by the comedic and knowledgeable, Jennifer who guided us through some of the cities, uhm, more colorful history. And by colorful I mean bloody. I was also impressed that one of the tour guides leading the group in front of us, a gentleman by the name of Rene, was still with the company. I took a vampire tour with him about 7 years ago and I still remember it to this day. Well done, Rene! Being the paranormal enthusiast that I am, I was excited to catch some "orbs" in a few of my photos from the ghost tour. I don't know how else to explain them. Have a look for yourself!:

P.S. I'd also like to add that I found it highly amusing how many times I heard the name "Nicholas Cage" mentioned on each tour. Those stories are for another blog entry because this one is wayyy too long already. I'm gonna start wrapping this up, I promise.

"You know, if you keep coming down here and you love it that much, you may end up staying here." said the sweet young lady behind the counter at Fluerty Girl, a cute shop we stopped in while walking down Royal Street. I stopped and I thought about that comment for a minute as she recounted how a friend of hers loved New Orleans so much she cried when she boarded the plane to go home. To be honest, if I didn't have so much and so many people here that I love, I could see myself making the leap down there. This particular trip was so incredible for me. I was visiting one of my favorite cities in the world  and I got to share it with the love of my life. I can't tell you how special that felt to me. I was at peace. Well, except when we were walking through the scummy part of town, but that was such a small margin of our trip! I had my big strong Yeti to protect me and we were hardly bothered.

I remember back in '03, when I went on my first trip to NOLA with two of my good friends and what a trip it was! For a young 20-year-old who hadn't encountered much of the world yet, it was such an eye opening experience. I loved it immediately. The atmosphere, the people, the food, the tumultuos history and the amazing music that permeates the air. I remember thinking that the only other place to fill me with so much wonder and such an overwhelming sense of comfort was Salem. I felt at home. By the end of our trip, I was sad to be leaving but vowed to go back as soon as I could. Enter 2005 and the coming of Hurricaine 

Katrina. 

Watching such an incredible place be battered and broken by such an indestructible force of nature broke my heart. Images of homes flooded up to the roof tops and bodies floating in the water convinced me that I may never get back to New Orleans. It looked like it was over. I remember worrying about some of the people we met down there. They probably didn't remember me but I felt like I knew them. Thats how everyone makes you feel down there. Like you belong.

But then I thought about some things I learned while I was there: This city does not go down. This city and these amazing people keep on fighting. Two city wide fires, countless die-offs from major diseases, and this tiny parcel of swamp called New Orleans continues to thrive and grow and constantly find a reason to celebrate and overcome whatever tragedy befalls them.

If the Goddess wills it, we're planning a return trip to the Big Easy in February 2014. The only reason we aren't going back in 2013 is, well, see above: Mardi Gras + Super Bowl = wayyyy too crazy for Jo. I can't wait to walk down those seemingly familiar streets again. I can't wait to bring people TO this amazing city to experience it with us. 

So until then: Laissez les bon temps rouler, New Orleans! Let the good times roll!

"Fat Chicks Need Not Apply"

OK everyone, don’t let the title fool you! I am not an asshole. That was merely the best title I could come up with in regards to the subject matter of this post. I apologize in advance for starting so soon with a ranting post, but this particular topic is one of my hot buttons and something I struggle with every day. That topic, even at age 29, is body image. For young women, societal pressure to be skinny and be considered "beautiful"  gets worse everyday! I happened to find a shining example of that last night when trying on a Halloween costume. Here’s the rather drawn out version of what went down:

On Tuesday, my loving and devoted Yeti went out to run a few last minute errands before we leave tomorrow for our big trip to the Crescent City. One of those things just happened to be a costume, one of three, that I’m bringing down with us since we will be celebrating Halloween while we're there. (Side note: Yes, I know I only need one but hopefully we will be attending a few costumed events during our trip.) During our daily afternoon phone call,  my dear husband informed that he did in fact pick up the costume,Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls to be specific, and that it was a size "Medium/Large". This filled me with rage.  My own husband just bought me something with the word "large" attached to it. I felt awesome about myself, let me tell ya. But I couldn't get too angry. Yeti is smart and got what he thought was right. It's not his fault the costumes are sized Small/Medium and Medium/Large.  “What ever happened to the days of small, medium or large?” I wondered.  All I could do at this point was suck it up and come to the realization that I was a size LARGE. I know. The worlds smallest violin is playing just for me at this point. FYI, there is NOT A DAMN THING WRONG with being a size large but i'm gonna get to that in a minute.

I came home later that night to face my foe: size large. I walked into the bedroom and there it was staring at me.  I opened the package, pulled out the pink and black Lycra dress and braced myself to be faced with a stretchy, behemoth-sized circus tent. As I unfolded it and held it up by the straps I noticed something: This garment was not a size  "Medium/Large". I tilted my head to one side like the confused kitten I was.  Yeti looked at me and said “Now you see why I bought you the bigger size!” Was it mislabeled? I checked the package one more time, then checked the label on the inside and both said “Medium/Large”. I tried it on and it fit. Not perfectly well, but it fit. I kept looking at it perplexed. How in the world am I just barely fitting in a “Medium/Large”? I knew it had been at least a week and a half since i'd been to the gym, but I never thought I had ballooned up past “Large”. I proceeded to measure the dress. It averaged 30” around the waist and 30” long. I knew in my head that those were not the measurements of a “large” garment. I spent the rest of the night kind of bummed out, but tried not to think about it. I kept trying to figure out how they could justify that in the large category. I even went so far as to say “I guess fat chicks need not apply to be a PowerPuff Girl!”. (See, I told you that would make sense later on.) Later on I got a chance to look at the "small/medium" size of this costume. It looked big enough to fit a 12-year-old girl!

This morning, while I was getting ready for work, I happened to look at my pretty blue vintage dress that I wore on my wedding day which was hanging up to dry. I thought about how just two month prior that dress fit like a glove and it was a size small. Now look where I was: Barely fitting into a medium/large and wondering what the hell happened between now and then. But then it hit me! My wedding dress and my Blossom costume were about the same length. It also looked to be about the same width around as well! I quickly dug out the costume and laid the two side-by-side and even on top of each other to see if they matched up. They were identical! Granted my wedding dress is a stiffer material then the Lycra costume, but it was still the same! The stiffer material should be a more ACCURATE representation of a size small right? I took some pics so you can see the similarities for yourself:

(P.S. Don't mind my shitty cell phone photography skills and my lack of ironing. I took these at 7 a.m., lol. )

I don't know about you guys but this is maddening to me! I'm trying to figure out if the vintage "small" dress is today's equivalent of a large? Or is it that today's equivalent of a "large" isn't large at all? This costume is clearly not designed for anyone with any kind of curves! I don't know who this costume company is marketing to but it's clearly not women with any meat on their bones. I understand the Halloween holiday discourages bigger girls from wearing sexy costumes, but this is RIDICULOUS! There's a difference between being grossly obese and wearing lycra and being a little thick and wearing lycra!  I'm not trying to say the creators of this costume are intentionally trying to promote an unhealthy view of what a healthy, beautiful woman should be shaped like but I think this is a more a reflection of what society's view on the matter is. This is what happens when we teach young girls that being stick skinny is the "norm" and how everyone should look. This is what happens when we give them unrealistic expectations to live up to. We get clothing like this that does not accurately reflect what size they actually are. If God forbid a teenager had tried this costume on and the "large" label was too small for her, I can't imagine what that would do mentally. Actually I can. Because it STILL bothered me at age 29. 

If this costume is however a reflection of today's "large", then so be it. I guess I'm a large girl. I like meat. I like ice cream, I like cheese and I LOOOOOVE cupcakes. But I also love fruits, veggies, cooking with fresh ingredients and going to the gym. If liking all those things is "unhealthy" and makes me a little bit bigger in the process, then fine. At least i'll be "fat and happy". 

Rant over. 

My triumphant return...to blogging!!

Well, well, well, look who's found her way back to the blogosphere!

After a too long hiatus/recharge of the ol’ 'noggin,  I'm finally ready to jump back into blogging and getting some more work done on "The Lovecraft Paradox"! I've missed having my own little corner of the interwebs where I can sound off and make my voice heard. Blogging used to be such a huge part of my life, I truly do miss it! But life in general has been pretty hectic lately. I’m hoping that starting today I can get back into the habit of updating regularly. So prepare yourselves, dear readers, for MADNESS!!

First things first, I guess! By now you must be asking yourself “What’s with that wacky name?”. It’s pretty simple really! About two months ago, I married the love of my life who just happens to be an elusive creature believed to not exist! I really have no idea what all the fuss is about. I will admit it, in the beginning he was pretty hard to find, but eventually he turned up and he was right under my nose the whole time! Maybe all those cryptozoologists and scientists are just trying too hard! He certainly looks human enough to fool even the most seasoned investigator and his intelligence borders on genius levels!! He says his name is “Fred” but I just call him Yeti and it seems to have stuck with all of our family and friends. He doesn’t seem to mind that I’ve exposed him to the public, but he is still having trouble with table manners and some other social graces. Practice makes perfect though!That’s not to say he doesn’t teach me things too. The wealth of information he holds and teaches me everyday is pretty incredible! I’m looking forward to a long, happy, life with my Yeti. he truly has changed my life for the better in every way.

So what should you expect from this blog? Exactly what one normally gets from a blog! Ranting about things I hate,neverending and unnecessary praise things I love, posting wacky pictures I take and of course documenting my daily life with a Yeti! I hope to keep this page as updated as possible. Adventures coming up for us include our trip to New Orleans, which we leave for on FRIDAY, and an attempt to cook a goose for Thanksgiving dinner (take THAT, turkey!!). Of course in between blogs, I’ll also be working on The Lovecraft Paradox! I seriously only have ‘til December to finish or else the story becomes obsolete! Nothing like a little countdown to the end of the world to get over this epic bout of writer’s block!

So enjoy your time here on my new blog. I know I will enjoy writing it for you all!