"Jo, get your fat ass up and BACK TO THE GYM!! RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RUN BEFORE!!"
or...
"Jo, sit your lazy ass down and WRITE MORE! Seriously, how many writing projects have been shelved recently? 4? 5?"
or...
"Jo, stop eating foods that are terrible for you! You're nearly 30 for fucks sake! Your heart and GI tract will thank you for it!"
or.....
"Jo, you should bake more. I mean, seriously, that's probably the one thing you're good at. Make MORE desserts!!"
...and last but certainly not least...
"Jo, READ!!!!!!!! Stop buying books and saying you're GOING to read them. Just read! It's really not that hard."
As you can see I have options. In all honesty though, I'm really not that mean to myself. But every so often I think I need a little "drill instructor from Full Metal Jacket-style" motivation to get my ass in gear. Although I think I'm missing a "maggot" or two in there somewhere.
I was doing really well for a while heading to the gym every other day, which was partnered with eating better (i.e. cooking fresh meals, fruits and veggies for lunch, etc.). Over the past few weeks with every going on, I honestly haven't been in the mood for "healthy" food or working out. I really just wanted to curl up with Yeti on the couch in my bathrobe and PJ's and drink cocoa. And that's exactly what I did. Of course I'm feeling the effects of that now. I'm even starting to get flabby upper arms. That never happens to me! Somethings gotta change and soon. It looks like it's once again time for lunch-time salads and a much needed date to get re-acquainted with the treadmill.
On to my poor writing projects: "The Job", "The Lovecraft Paradox", "Sadie" and "Christ Of The Dead" (a collaborative effort with Yeti). I kinda feel bad leaving all of my characters in limbo. I can't tell who is in worse shape. Aloysius Baxter Cunningham just got the snot beaten out of him in an alley way and Sadie just discovered how she can use her evil powers for good but she's been unable to use them! Ugh. Part of my problem is (you guessed it) TIME! I spend all day at work in front of a computer. You'd think I'd be able to get some of these things out! And my desk is not the kind of place I can easily whip out a notebook and jot down all the strange musings in my head. It's a constant barrage of interruptions as soon as I start to get a new idea. Even as I type this, Then of course by the time I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of my computer (because I could be doing something else like, I don't know, GOING TO THE GYM, or baking, or reading). What a conundrum I find myself in.
I'm quite proud of myself that I've finally embraced my inner baker, taking after my grandmother and father. There's something truly special about making a cake that is NOT from a boxed mix. Recently, with the unfortunate demise of the Hostess Snack Cake company (or whatever it was officially called), I've decided to take it upon myself to re-create some of their delicious treats for friends and family who can't have them anymore. All from scratch and without the additional junk and preservatives. So far the Jo-Stess Bakery seems to be a hit. The problem with making delicious cakes and treats, however, is the need to EAT THEM. In a house consisting of only myself and Yeti, that makes it hard! How does one practice their baking skills and watch what they're eating at the same time? Either your baking goes stale and bad, or you eat it and consume all those calories. Unfortunate circumstances abound all over the place.
Of all the things on my list to "resolve to do" in 2013, reading more is near the bottom.Believe me, I understand the importance of reading, especially when writing is a hobby as well. The two go hand-in-hand. I'm not saying its any less important than my other resolutions, I just feel like I could be doing something else while i'm sitting and reading. I actually have the same problem when I think about going to bed or sleeping in general. "I could be doing something constructive with my time! Who needs sleep when there are so many things I could accomplish?!" Are you seeing a pattern here? It's a vicious cycle I find myself in at times. I have so many great books i'm looking forward to cracking open! But between sleeping, eating,working, spending quality time with Yeti, going to the gym, baking, writing, cleaning my house, finding time to spend with friends and family,and finding time to breathe in between all of that....reading seems so far down the list.
Gawd, if I feel busy now, what's going to happen when I eventually have a kid?
My friends, does your resolution look like this? Everything is so totally doable and easy, yet so ridiculously contradictory? Fuck. I feel like this year I am missing the point of making a resolution. Aren't you supposed to feel better when you come up with these things? Now I'm just confused. Although Maybe I'm not looking at the bigger picture here. Clearly I have a slew of things I want to improve on for 2013. Maybe what I really need to work on for this new year is time management. I'm sure i'll work out some sort of schedule soon. But I guess I better get cracking since....2013 is literally a DAY AWAY! AHHHHH!!!
I know I can do all of this but just writing this and reading it back is making me exhausted already. Despite all of this though, I look forward to the fresh start the New Year brings. After the way 2012 decided to end, I think we can all agree on that without a doubt. Hey, we survived the end of the world right ;)? I think that's reason enough to celebrate! In the immortal words of the Monty Python gang:
Cheers to 2013!
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